Reviewed by Daniel Kelly
Two discs, hours and hours of young twinks (about four hours), an enticing title like Sweet 69 Holes—and none of them get used. Sixty-nine holes are spread (figuratively) across two discs, as we are introduced to young men, who are interviewed from off screen (with subtitles, because they don’t speak English), then undress, sit on a couch, show off their assholes and jerk off. No sex!!! I might as well just jerk off in front of a mirror!
The first problem with this film is the number of really cute guys are nowhere near the 69 guys we see. This film is strictly for fans of twinks with very emaciated, feminine physiques and mostly no body hair. Although, most of them have fuzzy assholes, so if you like your young men totally smooth you’ll be disappointed. I spotted a few guys who will probably be hot when they mature, but for now, it’s really just child’s play.
Next problem—the guys look bored. There are very few enticing, erotic shows being put on for the camera here. It’s not even like you’re spying on young men jerking off for the pleasure of it who don’t know they are being watched. There is just no spark in this film. Even the majority of cumshots fall short—literally.
And of course, if you’re looking for a hardcore porn, well, you’re not gonna get it here. This is all solo. Plus, what little action there is gets continuously interrupted, because the interview moments (during which the guys are still clothed) are interspersed between the masturbation scenes rather than being fully played out before the solo scene begins.
And finally, despite the fact that the title Sweet 69 Holes makes it sound like you’re going to be delving into a world of virginal twink assholes—most of these puckers look like they’ve seen more action than those of some of the most experienced porn stars in the industry.
From a personal standpoint, I was distinctly turned off by this film (aka: completely flaccid), by the appearance of these guys. We’re assured on the DVD case that they are all over 18, but they hide it well. So, if you go for the young ‘uns, and just looking at them naked is enough for you, you may very well find this one appealing. You may even want to pick up Volume 1 Parts 1 and 2. With this many segments to each volume, I guess the series definitely has a strong fan base. I’m just not a member of this particular fan club. Sweet69Holes#1Part3
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