By SexHerald Staff
 For
most people, the word "swingers" is laden with very
specific imagery and unsavory connotations. Coke-fueled key parties.
Macramé wall hangings and shag carpeting. Fleshy, well-past-their-primes
lechers congregating and letting it all hang out.
This all may have been true of the earlier swing parties, but the
parties of today, and those doing the swinging, bear little resemblance
to those hallmarks of the 70s. The sex is still as lusty and brazen
as ever, but today's sophisticated yet accessible scene stands
in marked contrast to those of a few decades ago.
Swinging, or the ‘lifestyle', is defined
by sexuality.org
as "a form of recreational social sex between consenting adults,
most commonly consisting of male/female couples meeting other male/female
couples for sex and/or ongoing intimate friendships." The
word has different interpretations, depending on which group is
doing the interpreting - mate-swapping, group sex, or gangbanging
are all activities subsumed under the larger "swinging"
umbrella.
To accommodate the estimated 3 million active swingers and growing
ranks of curious and possible swingers-to-be, organized parties
and singularly-purposed facilities are popping up all over the country.
They're attended not by jaded and wizened old divorcees or
pornographers but by people who could be your friends or neighbors.
The manager of a local television station. The grad student getting
her degree in literary criticism. The guy who owns the neighborhood
carwash. Not the lurid caricatures (the oversexed, over-tanned type
A uber capitalists and their vapid trophy wives) that populate the
mass mediated appropriations of the Lifestyle.
Swing parties run the gamut from impromptu living-room gatherings
facilitated by Craigslist
Casual Encounters postings to posh, choreographed soirées
reminiscent of Eyes Wide Shut. Some clubs offer a complete epicurean
experience, starting the evening off with catered dinners and capping
it off with treatment from a professional masseuse.
No two events are the same. Some parties cater to, or at least
provide for, fetish enthusiasts, while others stick to run-of-the-mill,
vanilla fair. It's impossible to identify and catalog every
swinger function, since many of them are intentionally kept beneath
the radar. However, through the official Lifestyle
Organization and their sanctioned affiliates, it's easy
to find a reputable club. And once you attend your first club, you'll
find no shortage of people willing to recommend other venues of
interest.
The following two clubs, both in the Southern California area,
epitomize what the new generation of swinging is all about. Clean,
well-appointed and secure, these clubs are a good time even if you
never remove a single article of clothing.
LA Couples is one of the largest on-premises clubs in Southern
California. It's inclusive, open to single females and couples:
truly a "party of the people," welcoming patrons of
all ages, sizes, and levels of attractiveness. The club throws parties
every weekend and for occasional special events. Attendance varies
widely, but Saturday nights are the busiest for a club - the usual
turnout numbers over one hundred couples, as well as a couple dozen
single ladies.
Located in a gritty, industrial section of downtown Los Angeles,
the nondescript building looks like any of other surrounding buildings:
plants, warehouses, or manufacturing headquarters. But inside, it's
clear that what's being manufactured are fantasies and pleasure.
LA Couples features a fully functioning nightclub that includes
a bar, buffet area, and dance floor complete with DJ booth and stripper
poles. It's a pleasant enough way to break the ice - so pleasant,
in fact, that some couples come just to enjoy drinks and chat with
other Lifestyle friends in a relaxed, nonjudgmental environment.
Behind the dance floor is where the real party begins. A labyrinthine
hallway leads to about a dozen rooms, including big group rooms
and suites with themes like "Doctor's Office"
or "Girls Only Hotel," all furnished with bedding, lube
and condoms. According to the owners, the most popular room is the
"black room," a long, dark corridor utterly devoid of
any light - revelers must rely on their sense of touch (and their
imagination).
On a recent visit, a room featuring the club's latest purchase,
a UP2FW (Orgasmatron 3000), was a crowd favorite; a steady stream of gawkers
watched as brave women took off their pants, shimmied onto a remote-controlled,
dual input machine that brought most of these courageous guinea
pigs to convulsing, caterwauling orgasms within five minutes. There
are also more private nooks and crannies for the less bold - or
those who are simply overwhelmed.
While a friendly staff and a controlled, safe environment make
LA Couples a fun playground for both novice and experienced swingers,
the "Disneyland if it has been created by Larry Flynt"
milieu might be a bit much for people brand new to the scene. Non-initiates
may find house parties—like the Lust Party—a bit more
to their liking.
The Lust Parties are yet another variation on the theme. Though
promoted like a nightclub, the Lust Parties are held monthly at
a posh private residence on the trendy West side of LA. Unlike a
nightclub, they're BYOB affairs, though the organizer provides
mixers as well as light buffet fare. The foyer has been turned into
a dance floor, complete with portable stripper poles, but you never
lose the sense of being a guest in someone's house. The overall
effect is a little surreal and bizarre, leaving one with the feeling
of encroachment upon the private life of a stranger.
To maintain an attractive and desirable roster of players, Lust
Party prescreens and approves members - anyone interested in attending
must submit recent photos. There's considerable payoff for
those concerned and motivated by aesthetics.
An evening at Lust is similar to a hip, Hollywood nightspot: hundreds
of vibrant, attractive young people. The proprietor speculates that
the average age is about 30, and that 90% of partygoers are younger
than 35 - wearing designer clothing, mingling around a pool or lounging
on plush velvet sofas. Only there's a lot more nudity and
public sexuality than you'll see at most nightclubs.
The proprietor insists that the focal point of the Lust Party is
not about sex and swinging, but to provide a sensual and refined
haven conducive to socializing and flirting. He claims, "Having
fun with sexy, young-minded people is our true focus. Everybody
is there to meet others and have a great time." For many of
the attendants, a "great time" translates into "wild
sex with hot strangers."
While there are no specific rules about where it is and isn't
okay to have sex in the house, most of the action occurs in the
upstairs bedrooms. The common bathrooms are off-limits, for reasons
of common courtesy. The action is intense, but it is mainly isolated
from the party's downstairs' nexus, creating a comfortable atmosphere
for "newbies" and people who aren't interested in immediate
gratification.
All in all, the Lust Party is one couples never forget. Especially
since there's even a portrait artist on hand to preserve the memory.
One party organizer from Arizona speculates that, like the socio-political
turbulence of the 60s and 70s, our uncertain current times make
people seek solace in frolic, human contact, and sex. "It's
a natural reaction to uncertainty…people reach out for each
other, and want to do what makes them feel good," he says.
Perhaps the true answer is more pragmatic than theoretical. Simply
by providing access, technology has allowed people who ‘don't
fit the profile' to explore the Lifestyle.
Previously, would-be swingers relied on tawdry magazines carried
home from the local porn emporium in a brown paper bag to showcase
potential partners. Letters would be written to people who appeared
in photos with black bars across their eyes (assuming, of course,
the pictures were legitimate); almost invariably, they'd have
a PO Box that might as well have been a black hole. It was a vaguely
seedy affair, to say the least.
Now, user-friendly sites like Lifestylelounge.com
and Lovevoodoo.com
make it easy to search, peruse, investigate, and respond to others—all
in the stigma-free, anonymous comfort or your own home.
Numerous partners in the same evening. Lovers are passed about,
exchanged, and discarded in the same manner one might display while
trying on a pair of pants in a department store ("Looks good,
but just doesn't fit!"). A husband watches while his
wife is mounted from behind from another man (or even by a girl
with a strap-on). To some, this sounds shocking and downright perverse,
but many couples in the Lifestyle insist that they enjoy a stronger
bond than the couples involved in traditional, monogamous relationships.
In a way, it might be seen as a kinky alternative to marriage counseling
or couples therapy. It's a way to act on natural impulses
in a controlled environment.
Under the right circumstances, swinging can enhance
a healthy relationship between two like-minded partners; both
parties must be honest about what they want from the experience,
and boundaries must be established to reduce the risks of alienation
and jealousy.
Acceptance, companionship, entertainment, sex... swing parties
offer something for everyone, but they definitely aren't for everyone.
Investigating this lifestyle can have tremendous personal benefits,
but it is obviously not without risk. The following fundamentals
are provided to inform the curious and give them a foundation for
further exploration.
Off-Premises: The party or club does not allow
(or at least does not condone or encourage) sex on the premises.
These parties merely serve as "ground zero," or as a
meet-and-greet for couples and individuals to socialize. While there
may not be any "swinging" at an off-premises party,
some of these events still get pretty steamy.
On-premises: Sex is anticipated, encouraged, and
provided for.
"Soft" swing: No full swap. In most
cases, soft swing indicates that the partners are not interested
in exchanging partners. "Soft" swing usually indicates
some voyeurism, exhibitionism, some girl-on-girl play, or some combination
of these things.
"Hard" swing: Full swapping between two or more
couples.
Ask before touching. Organizers stress that the environment is one
of consent, respect and trust. And most people don't want complete
strangers to randomly walk up and start rubbing them.
No means no. Most reputable clubs and parties aim to create a safe,
female-friendly environment. Offenders who press an issue will be
tossed out.
Remember, each club is different. It's always a good idea
to follow common sense and common courtesy, but when in doubt, ask.
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