Q: I keep seeing advertisements in my newspaper for “sexual surrogates,” and I wanted to know what they really are. How do they help you? Do they actually have sex with you? Is this even legal?
A: Working with a sexual surrogate can be one part of sex therapy for those with real sexual problems. According to the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA), a surrogate partner is a member of a three-way therapeutic team consisting of the therapist, client and surrogate partner.
“The most direct and successful way to overcome sexual problems and become a skilled and loving partner is to work with a surrogate,” says sex therapist Michael Perry, Ph.D., who trains surrogate partners to help his clients overcome their sexual difficulties and has created a series of videos to give people a peek into how surrogacy works, with tips and advice on improving your sex life from trained surrogates.
So, how does it work? And is there really sex involved? “Surrogate therapy is not prostitution. Surrogates help their clients by assisting them through an elaborate series of exercises to develop their social skills, by helping them be more comfortable with their body and their partner's body, and by teaching them techniques to overcome their sexual problems. Only about 20 percent of the exercises include intercourse,” Dr. Perry explains.
Regarding the legality of sexual surrogacy, Dr. Perry says, “If a surrogate works with a licensed therapist, follows an approved ‘standard of care,’ and works with a client with a legitimate concern, surrogate therapy is completely legal.” In general, there are no laws regulating the profession of sexual surrogacy.
Sexual Surrogates
