The smell of cookies floats through the air as you help grandma whip together another batch of homemade oatmeal raisin cookies. When you are done in the kitchen, you sit with grandpa who is sitting in his favorite chair and smelling of tobacco. He gives you a dollar not to tell grandma he has had a few puffs of a cigarette.  Sunday afternoons at your grandparent’s house with the smell of cookies and tobacco floating through the air is a memory some people never forget but what do they do when you are not there? Grandma and Grandpa could not possibly do anything other than watch television and bake many cookies for themselves; they are too old for any other activities. Or, perhaps that is what you would like to believe.

Geriatric sex is no longer just for wealthy old men and their youthful gold-digging brides. Now, it is also for couples in nursing homes. The average life expectancy increased to 77.8 years, which means the duration of our sex lives has also increased with time. People are leading healthier lives; eating right and keeping fit are just some of the things that affect our sex drive and enable us to continue to thrive sexually later in life.

As sons and daughters, even if we were capable of discussing sex openly with our parents and grandparents, the thought that they may have had sex more than the amount of children they have conceived sends shivers down the spine for many. Sometimes, it is hard for people to fathom that our older counterparts crave romance and sex but for the first time ever it is becoming more and more apparent that it is time to address sex health issues and the elderly.

Mature adults are leading different lives from the sexually conservative older generations that came before them. Much like sex is a fact of life, so is death and as we get older it is likely one’s spouse will pass which creates a void to fill. Loneliness and longing for a connection is something we all experience no matter what age; therefore, it is not unnatural for someone above 60 to want to have someone to share their lives with and fulfill certain needs. Divorce is also no longer rare among the elderly. Grey divorces lead to an increase in single seniors who are now on the prowl for someone new. The elderly are more actively pursuing romantic and sexual relationships because they are leading healthier lives and, thanks to advances in modern medicine, they can participate in a variety of sexual activities.
With the development of Viagra, it is now possible for older men to perform longer and more frequent than before.  For women, sexual interest may decline after menopause; however, there are also ways to reinvigorate the female libido, which include hormone medications, vitamins and increased foreplay with lots of lubricant. Despite the disadvantages old age has for sex drives, it seems many seniors are as lively as ever, especially in nursing homes.

Not all senior citizens have the luxury have romping around their home with a partner; many have to face their desires in a nursing home, which lack total privacy. Sexual activity in nursing homes among residents is a taboo within a taboo. Staff members have the obstacle of developing open discussions with residents about their sexual desires and how they can act them out appropriately. Nursing homes typically discourage sexual behavior between residents due to various factors including diseases caused by old age, such as dementia. Concerns about those who can consent to sex versus those who may have a mind-altering disease that may influence decisions are feasible. Nursing home staff is not trained in how to deal with consensual sex between residents nor does a home often accommodate private space for them to perform these acts, such as conjugal visits for inmates. Since staff are not trained to approach these issues, it is time to retrain nursing home aids in elderly sexuality and prepare them for obstacles they may encounter with those who want to be intimate. Nursing home staff members are not the only ones who need to be educated about sexually active seniors.

How to deal with senior sexuality has been a dismissed topic for some time because old age is often a worrisome and taboo topic in itself. Sexually active older people are facing the need for an updated sexual education. Their knowledge of safer sex and sexually transmitted infections is usually outdated, causing them to be more susceptible to contracting something. Those who are now in their later years were likely to have grown up in houses that were not open to sexual discussion and sexual education was more about abstinence and procreation than about prevention and protection.
Despite not having to worry about unwanted pregnancies, condoms are still significant in having safe sex for the elderly since they prevent infections such as Chlamydia, gonorrhea and HIV/AIDS but many may feel they are not at risk at their age and forego using protection. Since more seniors are becoming sexually active again, there is a need to reeducate them especially since their immune systems are less effective than they once were.

According to the Center for Disease Control, 15% of new HIV/AIDS diagnoses were in people the age of 50 and above.  Most seniors avoid getting tested for STIs and HIV/AIDS because of lack of health insurance and the feeling of embarrassment that keeps some people, no matter the age, from receiving proper healthcare and a timely diagnosis.

Perhaps seniors being sexually active is an uncomfortable topic because of so many restrictions and preconceptions that have been placed on being sexual at an older age. People often forget that seniors are sexual beings, too, and by desexualizing them you may be denying yourself pleasure later in life. Sex during your later years should not an be unthinkable act, because you will age and if your sex drive still functions like these modern frisky seniors, then you will be counting your blessings and orgasms—not to mention an even longer life.