We live in a society that values objects. People cherish their belongings, from keepsakes to clothes; even sex toys hold a special place in our hearts. Connections can be developed with items that are so deep that a person may become heartbroken if the item is lost or destroyed. This is typical behavior of people and their possessions but some have feelings more intense than that of fondness for personal belongings; some actually become so attached that they form bonds and feelings of arousal for inanimate objects.

Objectophilia is more complex than just a relationship with a sex toy. It is a condition where a person has intimate feelings for an inanimate object as he or she would for another human being. Fetishes are thought of as a sexual desire for a person performing an action, personality characteristics, or an arousal for specific body parts and not for things that are non-living. The confusion of this fetish lays in understanding the difference between having an item you are deeply attached to and having an item you would like to have a loving sexual relationship with. In this type of fetish, the item itself is the desire of a person’s affection and sexual fantasies and not another person. Objectophiles typically prefer relationships with objects and often struggle with relationships with other human beings. 

This little known fetish has had brief stints in the public eye, however, since there is a lack of information about objectùm-sexuality. Participants of the fetish have been dismissed as having psychological issues.  Most fetishists are thought to have emotional problems before his or her fetish becomes mainstream and more acceptable in the public eye (i.e. foot fetishes). Since this behavior is still unconventional, it is hard for those who practice to be public about their desires. As with most fetishes, the participants may feel ashamed of his or her feelings and feel it is abnormal. However, there are some who never let what others think stifle their pride.  One of the first public displays of this fetish was in 1979 when Eija-Riitta married her long-time love, the Berlin Wall, and took her husband’s name becoming Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer (German for Berlin Wall).

Berliner-Mauer is a follower of animism, which is the belief that all things are living and have a soul that enables her to have a relationship with the wall. Coining the term objectùm-sexuality, Berliner-Mauer is a pioneer in bringing this lifestyle out in the open and seeks others to join her in order to learn more about it and help others understand the fetish.  Another objectophile, Erika Eiffel committed herself to the Eiffel Tower despite her long-term relationship with Beliner-Mauer’s husband. The two women consider themselves objectùm-sexual sisters and the two work together with fellow objectophile Oliver Arndt to educate the public about the lifestyle; Arndt is in a relationship with a steam locomotive named Sahneschnittchen. The three have experienced loss of their great loves, for Eiffel and Berlin-Mauer when the wall was torn down, they were heartbroken. Arndt also discovered that Sahneschnittchen was to be disassembled and destroyed and went on a hunt to find his love for one last goodbye.

Sexual technology is taking us to new heights of autoeroticism and even a drill is capable of having a sexual relationship with a person; perhaps, it is natural to take the next step with these objects. For objectophiles, their desire for objects is more than just sex; it is also love and companionship. While having sex with the Berlin Wall may seem odd or nearly impossible, Berliner-Mauer found a way to be intimate with her mate.

Since objectophiles anthropomorphize objects, they believe that they can communicate with their inanimate lovers. This raises questions about the objectophile‘s sanity or if he or she is just a person who humanizes a building, table or whatever may be their desire due to psychological issues. There are men who have sexual relationships with blow-up dolls, who name the doll and perform sexual acts with it that are normally performed with another person. In this scenario, a man is not perceived as having psychological issues—just lonely or unable to obtain a partner.

Similarly, there are people who cherish their cars so much that they name it and spend a lot of time on its upkeep to maintain its appeal.  Some women have relationships with their vibrators but never fall in love with them while others have relationships with people hidden behind a computer and never meet face to face. With the advances in sexual technology such as sex machines and blue tooth enabled toys, more people are having relationships with inanimate objects. Then there are people who have had their significant others leave them because of an obsession with a car or excessive masturbating with a toy or even because of spending too much time using the computer. 

It raises the issue of how different are objectophiles from an obsessive materialist? Materialists value items above all else and disregard need versus excess. They are all about having more and treasure their materials over other people. The drive to have more money and more items becomes consuming and they love their belongings but the constant need for more sometimes becomes a problem. Loved ones become alienated or leave the materialist because of his or her attachment to having things.  Materialists may not want to have sexual relationships or marry their possessions but objectùm-sexuality can be a derivative of this behavior.

Participants educating the public are key when trying to get others to understand a fetish; however, it takes courage to come out when someone’s lifestyle is viewed as unacceptable conduct. People will have a better understanding of this sexual behavior enigma as more objectophiles, such as Berliner-Mauer, Eiffel and Arndt, come forward and explain their feelings and involvement in this lifestyle.  In a society where we value our possessions above everything else, is it that hard to understand that someone can truly love an object over another person? Chances are, you are sitting here reading this article on a computer you probably spend more time with than any person you know.