In our visual culture, the right to see and be seen is a fundamental element of sexual freedom and self expression. The act of looking at something one finds erotic is a natural, healthy impulse that can be explored in ways limited only by one's imagination and comfort levels. Whether a private viewing of an adult film or a visit to a swingers club with a partner, voyeuristic ventures can offer many positive benefits. Some people may discover a new appreciation for others' and their own bodies, some may find non-participatory viewing empowering for themselves and those being watched. Some learn by looking, gaining a sexual education by watching other people give and receive pleasure that they can take into their own bedrooms, while others may just enjoy the view.

Voyeurism, however, is classified as a psychiatric disorder on allpsych.com , attributable to childhood abuse and treatable in therapy. While characterizing the mere desire to watch as an illness would deem us all sick, the line between healthy and unhealthy is drawn on the issue of consent. According to the American Psychiatric Association's definition, a problematic voyeur's compulsion to spy on unwitting subjects must be chronic (lasting more than six months) and fundamental to his ability to become aroused. This predatory voyeur is interested in watching only the unwilling, and his sexual excitement is entrenched in their unknowingness, his visual invasion of their privacy, and the shock or embarrassment that they would experience if he was found out.

There are different ways in which a surreptitious voyeur can get his look. The old peering through windows or spying with binoculars can land him a trespassing charge. For the more meek peeker, technology has provided several options that may seem a safer, though still intrusive, choice.

The use of video technology in voyeuristic sport has caused enough of a stir that this past spring, the House Judiciary Committee unanimously passed legislation reacting to voyeuristic uses of cell phone phones and camera PDAs. This act made video voyeurism on federal property such as parks and public buildings a crime punishable by a fine and/ or jail time. In June 2003, Congress introduced the Video Voyeurism Act of 2003, prohibiting pictures "captured without the consent of that individual," or "under circumstances violating the privacy of that individual."

Although the predatory voyeur does not physically engage with his subject, his looking is a sexual act and the subject thus becomes his sexual partner. With phone or cyber sex, partners are similarly distanced, but they are also both knowingly and willingly participating in the sexual exchange.

However, for the inconsiderate voyeur, this mutual consent does not exist. While victims may never discover the role they play in the voyeur's erotic life, the possibility that they could find out is elemental to his arousal and often more devastating to the watched than the watcher. For the woman who realizes that she has been spied on while showering, the couple whose intimate acts have been taped, the visitors to public restrooms who have been peeked at, the violation of their privacy can embarrass, frighten and alienate them.

So here is where consent and voyeurism must hold hands and make nice. Of course, there is a little bit of Peeping Tom in all of us. As sexual beings attracted to other humans, it is natural that we all can appreciate an eye-full at times. Whether turning on a good porn, clicking on an adult web site, checking out an attractive stranger on the street or sitting back and enjoying the view in a threesome, everybody has their ways that they like to watch. When pursued positively, erotic viewing is a safe, empowering, and often exciting means of sexual exploration. Stepping back to watch a partner masturbate, for example, can provide a new appreciation for his or her body and the ways it likes to be touched.

Party planners such as New York based Voyeur Events host adult parties, bringing together swingers, exhibitionists and voyeurs alike for soirees of the sexy and safe sort. The American Association for Nude Recreation offers resources for nudist events, resorts and vacations. For every person who likes to watch, there are plenty of people who like to be watched, and that is how voyeurism and exhibitionism go together like a quality web cam and a high speed internet connection.

The moral of Peeping Tom's story is that looking without license can cause more problems than it's worth. The desire to watch, however, need not be repressed, and should in fact be explored through proper means. Establishing clear boundaries and consensual arrangements are the only rules to the peeking game. So use your imagination and become a voyeur. Rent a porn, photograph your partner, visit a swingers club, or turn the tables and allow yourself to be seen.