There have been many cautionary tales and urban legends about casual sex with strangers. One of the most well-known stories is the one where a man picks up an attractive woman at a bar, they have a few drinks and then they get a hotel room. After entering the hotel room, everything is a daze and he wakes up in a bathtub full of ice with an organ missing. There are many similar tales about casual encounters that result in organs being harvested for the black market; however, those are not the only sexual horror stories out there.

One of the most uncommon folklores of causal sex is vagina dentata, which is Latin for vagina teeth. A deterrent myth about a woman with teeth in her vagina has taken on many versions in various cultures. A version from India tells a story about a beautiful girl described as “fierce and angry” who had many lovers and whenever they would have sex, the man’s penis would be cut into three pieces because her vagina contained three teeth. A man agreed to marry her if only his servants could have sex with her first and she agreed. In doing this, the first servant lost his penis; the second one tricked her by telling her he could not bear to look at her during intercourse and had her cover her face. Once this was done, she was held down and the teeth were removed by force. Another tale from Native Americans involves a fish living inside a woman’s vagina and a hero who breaks the teeth out of her vagina.

All the tales from each culture are very similar and include a beautiful woman whose vagina castrates her lovers and in return, one man, a hero breaks or pulls out the teeth using immense force. Once this is done, the woman often marries her conqueror who frees her of her sexual disability. The sexism and violence in these tales run deep, using strong words for the removal of the teeth that threaten manhood. In none of the stories does the woman ask to have the teeth removed from her vagina; instead, they are removed without consent. In some cultures, these myths lead to reality, from the castrating female to the castrated female. In some parts of Africa where genital mutilation is a part of life, the Nandi tribes would perform female circumcision with the fear that the clitoris may be a tooth.

The Middle East tells a tale of a succubus known as Um Al Duwayce who would do more than lure men into sex with her beautiful appearance and scent. This particular succubus sought out adulterers to exact revenge on, when she would lure her victims into intercourse, she would disfigure the penis or even castrate the man with the razors contained within her vagina. Unlike the tales of vagina dentata, there is no hero who rescues this succubus from her sexual deformity; in this case, Um Al Duwayce acts as an anti-hero, dishing out punishment on those who have broken their vows.

Um Al Duwayce was not a typical succubus; in most tales, a succubus is a demon that takes the appearance of beautiful women filled with lust and desire to attract their prey— a sleeping male. Her intention is not to seek revenge on man, but to steal his seed and draw energy from him which she needs to survive usually leaving the victim for dead. Much like vagina dentata, these tales represent women as beautiful creatures but in a negative light. They suck the life from men, stealing their sperm and in some cases bringing it back to an incubus who then uses it to impregnate sleeping women. Stories of succubi were often used to explain wet dreams and another cautionary tale of sex with strange women.

There are many similar tales that feature beautiful but deadly women such as sirens, harpies and many other mythical creatures who seduce men with their beauty, song and scent and then leave them for dead. The stories of la belle dame sans mercy and various femme fatales present women in a negative light in an attempt to scare people away from casual sex. With the rising acceptance of promiscuity and being long past a time where sexual freedom was just a revolution without thought of bodily harm, teaching abstinence only and sexual horror stories will not prevent people from having sex if that is what they want to do.  

Teaching both abstinence and safer sex as two options of sexual practices as opposed to fearing castration from teeth in a woman’s vagina or having the life sucked from you can create a healthier sexual environment. Casual sex is not as dangerous as the myths play it out to be but as time goes on the cautionary tales become less frightening than the reality of contracting a sexually transmitted infection. HIV/AIDS started as a tale of a disease called GRID (gay-related immunodeficiency disease) in which only gay men were found to contract the disease and spread it among the population. The myth of GRID being a homosexual disease was debunked and found that HIV/AIDS is passed among anyone of any sexuality if they participate in high-risk behaviors such as casual sex without condoms. Taking proper precautions in any sexual activity keeps you from harm and can enable you to continue with all your intimate endeavors.

With the marrying age being pushed back further as more and more decide to hold off on settling down so they can continue their education and focus on a career, there has been a turnover in what is acceptable sexual behavior. No expectations, no emotions and no attachments can leave a person free to continue their lifestyle with any disruptions. With casual hookups, the basic need for sex and human contact is met, yet a person’s daily life is not thrown out of the loop by a newcomer and a relationship. We live in a world where people with hectic schedules looking for love or sex can search for it at their desk by browsing dating sites like Match.com and eHarmony. However, if you are looking for a casual hookup without having to go to a bar, there are sites like Adult Friend Finder and Plenty of Fish where you can weed out your likes and dislikes and screen a person before you have an intimate encounter. Using these sites can enable a person to get a little back information from someone and not necessarily have to wonder if you will wake up with your wallet stolen, kidney missing and/or a STI.

There is no absolute way to ensure safe casual sex. In a hookup, most people do not interrogate their sex partner about their sexual history, status and in some cases their names. The best way is to protect yourself if you are going to go off and have sex with a stranger, take precautions such as text messaging a friend and letting them know where you are going and in the bedroom always make sure protection is used. In the end, even if it was emotionless sex, it was sex and most people are just happy to get laid.