By Tobly McSmith
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter
The first dirty joke I heard was about a corn field, a young virgin, a horny farmer, and a homeless man that unknowingly eats corn with a special, sexier kind of butter. It wasn’t funny, sexy, or overly filthy but it was most likely the beginning of the depraving of my mind. So in tribute, let’s bend over backwards for my favorite vegetable: corn.
For the adventurous, you and your partner could use an actual can of corn for this position but I suggest the corn to still be on the cob. It’s fresher that way and has fewer preservatives. Naked, in the kitchen, put your partner up against the sink, pressing against their back. Shuck the corn together, peeling back layer after layer, till you reach the glowing yellow corn cock. Roll the bumps of the cob against your sexual playmate’s body, and playfully stick it into their mouth mimicking fellatio. Heat the scene up with a good hard rubbing of the clit with the corn making sure she feels every kernel against her. When she is hot and bothered bend her over, hands against the sink, and let that corn find her wet spot from behind. I recommend a condom and they don’t take away from the corn’s rigidness. When the pounding and moaning is over consider throwing the corn out the nearest window. Maybe a lucky homeless man will get some deliciously buttered corn. ICan’tBelieveIt’sNotButter
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