Like The Monkees and The Beatles (according to most Generation Y'ers), swinging was assumed to have dissipated when the 80s rolled around. Your parents could have been swingers and you wouldn't have even known. Very little has been revealed about the community of "wife swappers," or preferably the lifestyle. No one would suspect that an alternative lifestyle sex community would sprout and start to thrive in your average suburban neighborhood. Now, we know better.

Dr. Robert McGinley, founder, president and owner of NASCA, established the lifestyles organization in southern California on the premise that married couples shouldn't have to be deprived the same fun as singles. It's the common belief that once a couple is married or decide to invest on a committed relationship, they must bid farewell to their nights of clubbing and picking up random people for a night of frolicking. In a word, sex.

Started in the late 60s, early 70s, McGinley originally had socials in his own home in Anaheim, California where he'd invite couples to meet other couples. He started Club WideWorld, which evolved into the North American Swing Club Association, or NASCA, with the help of other swing clubs in the area. Now, after having branched out worldwide, it is only known as NASCA both on the national and international levels .

For over five years now, Tony Lanzaratta has taken over the conglomerate as the executive director of NASCA. Apart from being fearless, what kind of person would put his face to the public as the head of one of the largest lifestyles organization on the planet? "I've had a pretty normal upbringing," says the Chicago native. "Nothing traumatic or anything like that."

SexHerald caught up with the former cop as he enumerated the pros of the lifestyle, the drawbacks of sexual monogamy in the mindset of Americans today and his experiences as an active member of the lifestyles community.

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SEXHERALD: How did you become to be the executive director of NASCA?

Tony Lanzaratta: Well, I entered the lifestyle many years ago with a girl I was dating at the time. We kind of mutually found out about it and thought, 'That sounds like something very interesting.' This was about 15 years ago. So, we went ahead and answered a little ad in one of the local papers here in southern California and went and did a little interview and decided to attend one of the parties. That kind of piqued our interest and we thought, 'You know this is really a lot of fun, a lot of nice people,' and we just kind of started getting involved in activities and became what we call a "play couple." We started attending more events and that became our focal point for our social lives.

So, anyway, that got me into the lifestyle and then I was a police officer with LAPD for 25 years. This is while I was still in the job so I had to keep it a little hush-hush. It was something the department probably would frown on, although there's nothing illegal about it. So then I got to know a lot of people in the lifestyles organization and got to know Dr. Robert McGinley. We became good friends and I told him I was going to retire in a couple of years and I would like to work for his organization someday. So, as time went by, as we got closer, he offered me the job of the director of NASCA, which when I retired from LAPD after 25 years, I took the job and I've been there now for over five years.

SH: I take it you're still an active member of the lifestyle community?

Lanzaratta:Oh yes, very much so.

SH: What made you interested in the lifestyle?

Lanzaratta: I just kind of thought the thing about sexual monogamy was just something that was very difficult for a lot of people, which includes myself. And I thought, 'Why can't you share your sexuality with others, but still have a relationship?' That's exactly what this whole lifestyle is about. At the time I was with a girl who felt the same, but I'm no longer with her necessarily. So, that just became my social life and it works out very well if you have the right partner.

SH: So, a right partner is key to a successful lifestyle experience?

Lanzaratta: Oh yeah, it's gotta be a mutual thing. One person in the relationship can't be grudgingly attending just to keep the other one happy. You both have to embrace it.

SH: Aren’t there emotional difficulties that come with the lifestyle?

Lanzaratta: There are if you let them be. If you talk about it and keep the lines of communication open with your partner and be frank, and if the person is such that it might be something that appeals to them, you can work through that because you have to separate the love from the sex. It's a recreational thing: we enjoy sex, we need sex, we love it, but why does there have to be an emotional bond with a particular sex partner? In a relationship where you're both involved in that, you go to a party together and you're probably going to stay together, but you're also going to possibly participate with others knowing - you and your partner knowing - full well what's going on. They're probably doing the same thing and then you leave together.

SH: I take it you speak from experience as well as from a male's perspective. The reason why some women may choose to be sexually monogamous than men is the fear that they may create emotional bonds with their sexual partners.

Lanzaratta: Yeah, that can happen. And I know couples that have happened to them. But, if you're not satisfied with the emotional bond and the love relationship that you have currently, then you don't want to get into this lifestyle because there's already a problem. This is just going to make the problem worse. You have to be with a person that you really want to be with. Now, you can have an emotional bond with anybody, but if it's just based on having sex with that person then, really, what kind of a bond is it?

SH: True, true...

Lanzaratta: It's like I said, you have to have that real connection with your partner going into this and you shouldn't have a problem with this. If anything, it should relieve some of that sexual tension that can occur between couples that have been together for a long time and make it into a more solid relationship.

SH: I take it the couples who enter into the lifestyle should be emotionally mature?

Lanzaratta: Yeah, it can't be a new relationship. It can't be someone in their 20's who has just gotten married, maybe just started a career, maybe just starting a family. They're not ready for something like this. This is something for couples that have been together for a while and now are kinda solid in the things in their life. And now they're looking for a little variety, little something different to do.

SH: Couples, after experiencing the lifestyle, usually stay together. Correct?

Lanzaratta: I know some couples who might want to blame the lifestyle, but I think you have to look deeper into why that relationship didn't last. Was it because of the lifestyle, or was it because you went into the lifestyle looking to fix things? You shouldn't use the lifestyle to fix things. It exists to make what you already have even better.

SH: What about couples who actually went in to "fix things" and came out of it with a stronger bond with their partners?

Lanzaratta: Well, sometimes that may work, too. But, I don't think that should be the focal point. Then you have women who wants a little more of an emotional bond and everything. You know, it's funny. It seems the man will spark the initial interest in getting involved in it. When a woman does go into it, she may have some questions, some hesitation about it. Once they realize what it is, how nice it is, how much fun it is and all the great friends they can have, it's usually the woman who sustains the lifestyle and wants to keep going. Women have the power there. They're the ones that make the decision. 'We're going to play with this couple or that couple, with that person or this person, or not.' The men, having females who are interested and enjoying this sort of thing, become very - I don't want to use the word - obedient. They become very thankful. There are tons of single and married guys out there who'd love to explore. Because their partners don't want to or are not interested or fearful of it, they never will.

SH: So one can say the lifestyle community somewhat breaks down traditional gender roles?

Lanzaratta: Yes, it somewhat does. At least, initially it does. Once the couple is immersed in the lifestyle, they both become pretty much equal partners in it.

SH: It actually promotes an egalitarian society.

Lanzaratta: Pretty much. In a strange way, it does.

SH: Aww, c'mon. Sex is everything. It makes the world go round.

Lanzaratta: Well, the women call the shots and run the show for the most part. A lot of the women are either bi-curious or bisexual. And the guys are happy to kind of sit back and let the women run with that. So that's where women have some power there. Anybody can be their sex partner. As far as bisexuality with men goes, it's not something you're going to find in the lifestyle.

SH: Why's that?

Lanzaratta: That's just this country. You go to other countries in Europe, bisexuality is equal among men and women; it's much more commonplace over there. Here, there are a couple of clubs that don't exactly promote it, but they say, 'It's fine, no problem.' For the most part, it's pretty rare here. I'm sure there's a certain percentage of men that are bisexual. But, if you go to a lifestyle-type couples' event, you're not really going to see it.

SH: What about the safety issue?

Lanzaratta: An overwhelming majority will take safety measures. They'll use condoms. Women will be on birth control, but condoms are still very widely used. There's never really been an epidemic. There's never really anything that was out of the ordinary. You have to remember a couple of things: 1) It's kind of a closed community, 2) It's couples only. So couples for the most part aren't going out and paying hookers for sex, they're not picking up strangers in bars, they're pretty stable for the most part. They've got a home, a job, a career and kids. It seems like there's less of a threat of an outbreak of STDs in the lifestyle community. And being a closed society like it is, it's not something that's very anonymous. You're going to go to a party and even go back to that party, or you're going to see people at another function down the road. You don't want to have been their last sex partners where they've picked up a case of herpes or gonorrhea or syphilis because you're going to get labeled in that community. So, I think people are extremely careful and very fastidious about their health in general.

SH: Why is it such a tight-knit community?

Lanzaratta: All the clubs for the most part need to be private for the couples' protection. It needs to be a private membership type of thing. People have to come in, be interviewed and pay a membership fee. They have to be screened a little bit and talked and meet some people, allowed to ask some questions about the club. You just can't show up one night and, 'Oh, hey! Here we are. We're going to have sex with you and leave.' You have to go through a process and that weeds out people who are looking for one thing. We usually tend to attract people who do a little homework and are willing to go through with the membership process. All clubs have their own policies; we're not a franchise or anything. It takes a little bit of commitment.

SH: It all seems to be a heterosexual community.

Lanzaratta: It's aimed at male-female relationships. They don't necessarily have to be married. It's overwhelmingly male-female couples.

SH: Isn't that a bit exclusive?

Lanzaratta: It is in a way. Why would a gay couple want to attend one of our events? In the same attitude, why would a heterosexual couple want to attend a gay event?

SH: Wouldn't it be nice to have a swinging community for same-sex couples?

Lanzaratta: They pretty much got their own stuff. They really do. They tend to already have their own structures in place in their own clubs and social activities. We don't really find them interested in what we're doing. So, we don't really try to cater to them because they don't seem to want to attend the swinging community's events. It's almost like the BDSM community, although that's little more of a fetish type of thing. If they're not into it, why would you woo them into it?

SH: I saw a special on Dateline about a year or two ago. I'm not sure if they were part of the lifestyle. Couples would go to clubs, get turned on by other couples, go home and only have sex with their own partners.

Lanzaratta: Absolutely. I also saw that special. This is why I always hate to use the word "swinging." That word "swinging" connotes a hardcore you-have-to-swap type of thing. The lifestyle isn't like that at all. It's a part of it, but there are so many different factions. "Meet-and-greets" are very popular where couples will go to bars just to meet other couples. They'll sit there, socialize, drink, maybe exchange numbers or maybe one of them will get a room and "swing," per se. It's more of a social type of thing. There are resorts, internet sites and conventions where 50-60 percent of people who attend under the lifestyle banner don't "swing" they don't exchange sex. They just like to be around that atmosphere. Because you attend one dance, one meet-and-greet, one convention or visit a club once, does that make you a swinger if you don't swing? I don't know. There are varying degrees of it. From very hard-core clubs and hard-core couples to couples that just like to go there. It's like a live porno show where they can be around but not want to participate. And that's fine.

SH: Like voyeurs.

Lanzaratta: Exactly. All those are incorporated in the lifestyle community.

SH: There are usually two couples, a total of four. If there were more, would that be considered an orgy?

Lanzaratta: An orgy would be when more than two couples get together. Four of them get together and they bring in another couple or another single. Anything more than four people could loosely be considered an orgy.

SH: If the term swinging is not a preferred term, and apart from the word lifestyle, how would you describe partners who swap?

Lanzaratta: I think the lifestyles organization has come up with a good name. They use the term "play couples." It's a little softer and it can mean any couple that goes to meet other couples for socializing with the underlining factor that they may eventually have sex with them.

SH: Were you ever jealous or possessive over a partner?

Lanzaratta: Every once in a while it kind of creeps in there. It's usually because one partner wasn't totally satisfied with the person they were with at the time. Or when somebody does something that you feel does it better than you do. That's all human nature. Then you have to remember it's like playing a game of golf or tennis. This is just sex for recreational purposes.

SH: Has the lifestyle ever made your personal relationships stronger?

Lanzaratta: Yeah, it has. Sexual monogamy is not really for us. That's why so many people stray. It's not that they don't love their partners or don't want to be emotionally monogamous. When it comes to sex, variety is good. If you look at most young singles, they're looking for different sexual partners as well one permanent partner. But, what's permanent? The divorce rate is, what, 50-60 percent? Why that happens is that they may still love each other but they're not sexually satisfied anymore. That lack of sexual satisfaction can make other areas of their relationship non-compatible. All it'd take is a little variety. It's not having sex with another person that tears the relationship apart. It's the lying, the cheating, the covering up, the deceit. When you're sharing the lifestyle with your partner, there's no need to go out and cheat, is there? If you look at the media and all the sex they use to sell everything, you're not going to come across people who look like that. So this is a fantasy fulfillment type of thing.

SH: What is your preference? Do you like engage in sexual activities with different partners or do you like to watch?

Lanzaratta: I prefer to be engaged with it.

SH: Have you ever just watched?

Lanzaratta: Yeah. There's a certain voyeuristic group that's a part of this and that's fun. The longer you become a voyeur the more you probably want to get involved. So you can do both.

SH: Everything that you've mentioned and explained up to this point I've been fine with, but there's one concept I have a difficult time understanding. If an emotionally mature man loves his partner as much as he says he does, why would he share his partner with another person?

Lanzaratta: That's something I still haven't quite got a grasp on. A lot of men, not all, get a great joy in watching their female partner in sharing her with other men. With my girlfriend, I really enjoy watching her with other men. I really enjoy the men enjoying her sexually and her enjoying them sexually. And I can't explain exactly what that is about, but it's very prevalent. I'm sure psychologists would be able to trace your roots and explain it. Then it loses its excitement because it becomes clinical.

SH: There has been an increase of interest in the lifestyle community in the past decade or so. Do you think it'll be around long?

Lanzaratta: Yeah, as long as there's sex between people around. It's just one of those basic fundamental things. It's going to be there as long as people have sex and are interested in sex.