Sexual Horoscope - Erotic Zodiacs

Hey Star-lusters, Something new in '05: ilLUSTration. On top of getting your sign's forecast for the month, there is an ilLUSTration that is psychically derived for your contemplation, inspiration and stimulation. Most times, the ilLUSTration will match up with the forecast, but not always. Let me know if these ilLUSTrations take on special power for you. Also, be sure you get your Lustrology forecast 2007! Will it be a drought or a particularly wet season for you? I hope the latter, but to be sure…you can click here to reach a lustrologer.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 19

ilLUSTration: A stripper passing on the guy holding out a twenty to come for you.   

Solo: This is a great month for straight-talkin’ Aries. No effort is needed on your part; just keep it real. If you are upfront with your needs, they will be accommodated by others.

Duo+: Becoming more aware of the little details in the relationship will rejuvenate your partnership, Aries. It’s better to hold off on exploring new terrain at the moment. Master what you have before moving forward.

Taurus Apr 20-May 20

ilLUSTration: Being slightly electrocuted by an old-fashioned vibrator, and finding it erotic.

Solo: It’s a month of extremes for you, Taurus. Whether you hit the jackpot or face utter humiliation, you can expect the unexpected from others. Don’t get into anything too serious at this time.

Duo+: This is a period of stability between you and your loved one, Taurus. If things are going smooth, they will remain so. However, if things have been quite shaky, extra effort will be needed to bring them into balance. This is the perfect time for bringing it all together.

Hot Spots: 8, 12, 18, 20

Gemini May 21-Jun 20

ilLUSTration: Trying to initiate a threesome leaves you flying solo for the night.

Solo: You may be given an extra dose of confidence at this time, Gemini, but it needs to be handled with caution. You will attract partners based on your attitude, but some may be a bit turned off by what they perceive as aggressiveness. Read others’ body language before approaching.

Duo+: If you are the typical Gemini, you can be counted on for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. This month, you should pay attention to what you blurt out. Pay attention to your partner’s responses.

Hot Spots: 6, 10, 11, 25

Cancer Jun 21-Jul 22

ilLUSTration: Skinny dipping leads to a different sort of dippin’.

Solo: Are you always looking for love, Cancer? This month, you might not find the ultimate romance, but you certainly won’t get stuck with the casual encounter either.  Intensity is the key word for relationships with others. Just don’t allow yourself to get swept up in someone else’s mess.

Duo+: The opportunity to reconnect on a spiritual level is present at this time. So is the ability to have a transcendental sexual experience. If you and your partner can be completely honest and exposed to each other, you will cross boundaries that will make your bond even tighter.

Hot Spots: 2, 5, 9, 13

Leo Jul 23-Aug 22

ilLUSTration: Waking up to a blowjob.

Solo: Okay Leo, you are shining again. This time period is favorable to those of your sunny disposition. You’re able to find common ground with everyone you meet. Have fun but don’t overdo it. You don’t want to burn yourself out.   

Duo+: You are naturally inclined to be the leader, Leo, but relationships have to be equal.  Otherwise, too much resentment builds up. Let your partner call some of the shots. This month, they will be even more aware of your take-charge attitude.

Virgo Aug 23-Sep 22

ilLUSTration: Keeping his arms at his side, a young marine salutes a pretty girl passing by.

Solo: You’re split this month, Virgo. Part of you wants to go out and live it up, while the other part wants the party to come to them. Let’s settle this: grab a few friends, go out, pick some people up, and bring them back home. Sound good?

Duo+: Virgos aim to please, so they usually go out of their way to be of service to others. Yet this month notes a period of selfishness. Allow yourself to indulge, but not at the expense of your partner. It’s all about give and take, and this is your time to do the taking.

Hot Spots: 1, 4, 6, 16

Libra Sep 23-Oct 22

ilLUSTration: The mistake of ejaculating on the poster on the wall.

Solo: If you’re in a superficial relationship (or relationships) at the present time, it’s best to keep them where they stand. Emotions will remain under wraps for you this month. Be honest with yourself and others about what you have and what you really want.

Duo+: It’s possible that this will be a time of misunderstandings for you, Libra. What you say and do will have a greater effect than you intend. Your best bet is to reassure your partner of your love and try to prevent fights.

Hot Spots: 7, 18, 19, 20

Scorpio Oct 23-Nov 21

ilLUSTration: Getting the girl and then losing your house keys.

Solo: It’s always harder on you Scorpios, isn’t it? You have the emotional pull at your disposal this month, but the ability to use it is beyond your reach. What happens during this month will be exciting, though it’s hard to tell whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Duo+: There is an imbalance of power in the relationship at this time. Even if you don’t see it, it’s there. Perhaps it’s time for you to do what Scorpios do best—investigate. Find out how your partner truly feels before assuming the worst.

Hot Spots: 2, 8, 21, 22

Sagittarius Nov 22-Dec 21

ilLUSTration: Falling asleep before your partner finishes.

Solo: Let’s be serious, Sag. You have the want, but do you have the stamina? This month, you may pass on many situations because other duties have you bogged down. You don’t have to miss out on all the fun, just pace yourself and plan things out first.  

Duo+: You may not be in touch with your partner’s needs this month, Sag. There is a lack of sentimentality that may evade your emotional side. Access your own needs in order to see if you are giving out what you want to receive.

Hot Spots: 11, 23, 24, 30

Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 19

ilLUSTration: Accidentally making the latest personal porno you made public access on your p2p network.

Solo: Attention Capricorns: Spontaneity is not planned! You cannot schedule fun into your planner, but you can learn to relax and go with the flow. Remember, it’s okay to let things get out of control once in a while. Only when you put your guard down will things get easier.

Duo+: So things are going well, you have a routine and you’re comfortable. But is your partner? While stability is a virtue, boring is an adjective most people don’t want describing their relationship.     

Hot Spots: 2, 13, 26, 27

Aquarius Jan 20-Feb 18

ilLUSTration: Coming home to find your partner already in bed waiting for you.

Solo: There is a wonderful balance of assertiveness and sensitivity in you this month, Aquarius. Your off-the-wall antics will find a receptive audience. Enjoy this time as a way to boost your self-esteem, so you can use the influence throughout the year.

Duo+: It’s a good time for fantasies, Aquarius. You got the plan and the delivery down.  Spend as much time home alone with your partner as possible. You won’t run out of fun things to do.

Hot Spots: 17, 28, 29, 30

Pisces Feb 19-Mar 20

ilLUSTration: An assertive buxom blonde forcing the nerdy loner’s face against her chest.

Solo: Pisces are normally somewhat shy, and this month is no different. In fact, you may find yourself too inhibited to do much. Team up with an outgoing pal and follow their lead. And remember, even the quiet ones can get lucky as long as they’re out on the town rather than cooped up in the house.

Duo+: Sometimes it’s hard to find the energy to shake things up. Sometimes, you don’t need to.  As long as you and your partner please each other, you have no need to feel insecure. Sooner or later you will get the craving for something different. Till then, enjoy what you got.

Hot Spots: 3, 4, 5, 17