Site: www.smoochmyass.com Cost: 30 days: $29.95, 90 days: $59.95 Genres:: Oral, Anal, Blowjobs, Facial, Food, Hairy, Hardcore, Interracial Condoms: No One-line summary: These babes might just brown-nose their way to the bottom of your heart. Reviewer: Scott Axelrod

Rating:

Very much in league with a half-assed bit concocted by Howard Stern’s lackeys or an X-rated Fear Factor challenge, SmoochMyAss.com is the type of adult entertainment that’s truly a matter of taste. I never could have imagined any point in my life where I’d be watching a chick dipping a Dorito® into the chunky salsa she just poured into the crack of some guy’s ass and eating it, mere seconds before he helps her wash it down with his own homemade sour cream. As an all-puckered starfish salute to the rim job, these ladies willingly set up camp and picnic between the sweaty, hairy butt cheeks of a bunch of burly gentlemen.

With its bleak, yet ironic brown background, the situation contained here is composed of a few dozen smooth-playing Windows Media video clips (that work better if you download them), with each scene also preserved in fuzzy screenshot galleries. Billed as the “Toss My Salad” collection, each segment finds a different participant on her knees with an ass and sac inches from her face. While some commence with the more traditional blowjob/ball-licking appetizers, others go straight for the entrée, diving in headfirst to taste-test the taint and tongue-check the prostate. Some come readily armed with one of several condiments—whipped cream, ketchup, salad dressing (Ranch, Russian, Italian and French from what I could tell), apple sauce, maple syrup and honey—that are generously drizzled over the man-course. One young diner even sprays down a line of Cheez Whiz® over the length of a black fella’s bobbing bologna.

The guys here obviously eat this kind of thing up, even going so far as to straddle some of the gals' faces to serve them a complimentary post-meal teabag service. With smiles all around, sloppy kisses are exchanged and the dinner parties conclude. The ladies here a semi-decent mix whose breaths probably smell a little assy and you wouldn’t really be interested in making out with anyway. But, I did spy with my half-closed eyes, redheaded Cherry Poppens and a few other familiar faces that you can catch brief glimpses of when they come up for air.

Bonus offerings include plenty of similar specialist sites including: BombayBang.com, Hencore.com, PrettyPrego.com, CumOnBlackFace.com, NastyFatty.com and VeryHairyWhores.com. A DVD shop is stocked with other types of cum-guzzling and semen-swapping productions as well.

SmoochMyAss.com is definitely one of those niche collections that can oftentimes be gag-reflex testing. The content here is raw, hardcore and not for the weak of stomach. The analingus enthusiast will definitely think it’s the shizznit, while those more inclined toward sites that compared to this are like spending an afternoon at charm school, will likely find it to be relatively suckass.