Site: www.simonscans.com Cost: 1 Month: $29.90, 3 Months: $69.90, 6 Months: $99.90 Genres:: Models, All Girl, Big Tits, European, Foreign, Masturbation, Natural breasts, Toys Condoms: No One-line summary: Simon scans 'em, and you won't be able to help yourself from staring at 'em. Reviewer: Scott Axelrod

Rating:

At first glance, you might misread SimonScans.com as “Simon’s Cans.” While the idea of: a) soda-can-collecting Simon exhibiting an online museum for his collection, or b) post-op transsexual Simon modeling his newly implanted set of cans might be appealing to some, the site as it stands is an extremely worthwhile experience regardless of how you prefer to refer to it.

With almost 500 friendly and clean-looking models hailing from the U.K., (the Spanish island of) Ibiza, Prague and Hungary at his disposal, Simon has created something that upon meeting us, he immediately proclaims: “This is an adult site, so that’s exactly how we treat you… If you are looking for ‘cum soaked sluts’, then you’ve come to the wrong place…” True to his word, there are an abundance of hot and sexy gals waiting to be released from the loneliness of their own high-quality photo spreads. The “Pro Models” look equally as good as the "Amateurs," “First-Timers" and "Students," as mostly all of them slip out of whatever colorfully sexy outfit it is that they’re barely (or not even) wearing, to engage us in overfilled thumbnail displays of natural breasts (many a large pair are on parade) and fresh pink poonani of the smooth and stubbly varieties. Selecting from a wide array of toys, most go on to demonstrate a deft hand in the art of dildo and vibrator brandishing, besides your everyday old-school manual masturbation manipulation techniques.

Easy to navigate, several search options are on hand to help members find a model that fulfills their preferences. Whether you scan the entire A-to-Z roster, a page dedicated to those given the highest 1-to-10 rating (I didn’t agree with a lot of these), or make a very specific a la carte-style selection from drop-down menus of individual attributes and backdrops, you’ll likely find yourself in a quagmire of beautiful proportions that's sure to affect your decision-making processes—there really are that many hot chicks to be viddied here; too many, in fact, for me to pay tribute to the ones I took a real shine to. Simon himself includes some snappy captions beneath and inside the galleries that offer some quirky trivia on the women and his thoughts on them.

The Windows Media and QuickTime-formatted movies are obviously not our host’s main presentation preference, but they do bring a number of the ladies (unfortunately not all of them) to life, in short clips of decent quality that find them satisfying themselves and mainly mirroring the masturbatory activities of their photos. With plenty of extreme close-ups, it definitely won’t hurt to peek in on at least a few of your favorites giving themselves a hand, or a generously lubed double-headed jelly rubber phallus.

Even without boy/girl intercourse escapades and limited lady-to-lady labial linguistics, the ladies of SimonScans.com are more than capable of holding and keeping your attention. With all-natural beauty splashed throughout this presentation and no filler for you to waddle through, you should have no gripes with Simon, his scans, or his models’ cans.