Reviewed by Scott Axelrod
 The variety pack has always been an exciting staple of indecisiveness-inducing panic for the curious/adventurous to break into a cold sweat over. From that assortment of potato chip flavors Mom impatiently waited to stuff into your aluminum Voltron lunch box, to that final verdict between vanilla, chocolate or tapioca pudding, having the power to choose what you want exactly when you want it is an act that transfers perfectly into the ever-expanding adult site marketplace, where the array of content options is spread wider than the most elastic of labia.
 PornAccess.com is a chockfull—if not slightly excessive—fantasy camp of contemporary compilation sites covering all the major genres, niches and fetishes in video and collectible photo formats. This key to this virtual city of vagina, titties, taints, schlongs, schmucks and dongs, is one that you might want to keep notes and a crudely drawn map on hand so as not to find yourself lost and in tears. At least you won’t have to keep a hand on your wallet or worry about being shoved into an alley and sodomized at spiked dildo-point, right?
 From tattooed and piercing mofos, to broads who can swallow a dick so deep you’ll swear its peeking out of her pooper, and even gals getting reamed by multi-penised monsters (no joke!), there’s lots of loot for every perv and/or professional porn purveyor to pat the pud to. Although it gets annoying after the first time, softly running your cursor across each site’s slightly larger-than-wallet-sized promo pic offers a bluntly worded pop-up description of twat’s on tap, or which variety of twat happens to be being tapped inside. Hardcore, Amateur, Teen, Fetish, and Mature/MILF fans should automatically perk up at the 600+ contributions dedicated to these categories alone. From grannies giving gumjobs and getting creampied, to tight, toned, fresh out of community college coeds sneezing out splooge, you might actually have a stroke while stroking it to all the variously formatted streaming/downloadable material stuffed into this distended Gomorra of gooiness.
 Even with a lot of frustrating content overlap between categories and sites, and more than plenty of clichés you’ve already smacked it to at other collections, there’s more than enough here to keep you cumming and coming back for a while—presuming you don’t break your putz off somewhere between your first half-hour and week five. In a swollen nutsack, PornAccess.com is at least the winner of one of those plastic trophies you got even if your little league team won no games and you couldn't even swing a bat, when it comes down to porn site excesses. When a site can seamlessly segue from chicks with dicks sucking off a living room packed ceiling-high with boners and chubby chicks being ridden like the Rancor, and then straight away back into the mouths of babes like Sunrise Adams, Tianna Lynn, Taryn Thomas and Brianna Banks, the presentation has got to be worth at least a roll or two of paper towels, right.
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