Site: www.hirsutebeavers.com Cost: $4.95/3 day trial, $9.95/7 day trial, $39.95/month Genres:: Hairy, Amateurs, Fetish Condoms: N/A One-line summary: Barely enough hair here to get stuck between your teeth. Reviewer: SexHerald Staff

Rating:

Why is it that so many sites seek to rope you in with promises of very specific things, and then don’t provide those things? I can see a site calling itself, oh, say, MegaUltraHardcoreSex.com, and being filled with all kinds of random porn junk content they couldn’t categorize anywhere else.

But sites like FilthyMoms.com (full of grannies, not moms), LovePunk.com (full of regular porn chicks Photoshopped to have blue hair, not punks) and now, HirsuteBeavers.com (full of so-called “freaks,” amateurs, and other tangentially relevant but otherwise head-scratch-worthy video feeds) make me wonder what these site providers think they’re going to get out of members besides a few bucks for a trial period, then some dirty looks over their shoulders as they slam the door behind them.

HirsuteBeavers.com does contain three photo feeds – Beaver Farm, Fur Boxes, and Bushy Beavers (you can always count on porn for giggle-inducing feed titles) that have directly to do with the ostensible point of the site – i.e., hairy ladies. But where are the movies from the ‘70s replete with untrimmed pubic hair? Where are the nature girls with their forested armpits? There is plenty of content, I am sure, that could have been collected and slapped onto this site, but it seems they haven’t even bothered to try.

Even the photo feeds provided here are a shade disappointing for someone who is a true hair aficionado. The girls featured aren’t “hirsute;” they simply don’t shave their pussies bare. I suppose naked pussy has become so much the standard in contemporary porn that even if a girl has a modest triangle of short and curlies, she’s considered “hirsute.” The Oxford American dictionary defines “hirsute” as simply “hairy,” though Dictionary.com goes as far as defining it “covered with hair.” Either way, the word has a connotation that links it to serious hairyness, not an occasional Bic lapse. These girls are mostly neatly trimmed and have shaved bikini-lines. It’s hardly Clan of the Cave Bear.

There are many things this site could have included – shaving fetish, hippy chicks, vintage porn, nudies from Woodstock – and they didn’t do any of it. For your hair needs, there are better places where the girls let it all hang out.