 |
Site:
www.farthammer.com
Cost: $5.95/3 day trial, $23.95/month
Genres:: Comedy, Gonzo, Musical, Oddities
Condoms: Yes
One-line summary: What will the beloved Bang Brothers think of next? And more to the point, dear god why will they think of it?
Reviewer: SexHerald Staff | Rating:
 |
 |
Reviewed by SexHerald Staff
 Once
again, our cackling cameraman Sanchez (reference such gems as monstersofcock.com
and bigmouthfuls.com) is on the prowl and attempting to lure unsuspecting
cuties into dastardly deeds, or so we’re made to believe.
This time the stud horse is known as Anthony, and he’s a musician.
Sometimes he’s an overly sensitive park-bench busker; sometimes
he’s a belligerent drunk British rock star with too much lipstick.
Whatever the trick, he manages to pick up one or more girls for
whom he plays a little song or two. But he has a little problem:
a rather explosive set of bowels.
Yes, that’s right: he finds them, he fucks them, and he farts
on them.
Now lest you think this is yet another step in the extreme direction
so much “reality porn” has taken, this is not part of
some elaborate humiliation ritual: there’s no slapping or
spitting here, or calling the girls nasty names.
 No
no. This, my friends, is pure, unadulterated, 13-year-old humor.
What cripples this site is the same thing that makes the whole
series problematic: Sanchez thinks he’s funny. In most instances,
he simply breaks the mood with his inane comments and clearly makes
the girls uncomfortable. He rushes the stripping, asks girls if
he can “have a little squeeze,” and worst of all, giggles
madly at inappropriate moments.
The sex is fairly routine (though a scene with four girls in a
pool in “Mallrats” is very interesting), and as usual,
Sanchez focuses too much on crotch close-ups and not enough on faces
and reactions. It’s hard to get into the sex much, since the
goings-on are just so silly. What saves this site, though, is that
Anthony the Hammer is genuinely funny.
 In
“Mr. Sensitive,” he plays a sappy virginal musician
who is awestruck by a gorgeous buxom brunette. “You were like
a freight train,” he tells her, “and I was papier mache
trapped underneath your mighty wheels. I was like a microbe, and
you were the scientist looking down at me through your magnified
lens. And I knew at that moment that you were the one for me.”
The young lady graciously agrees to take his virginity, and as she
sucks his cock, he proclaims, “All of a sudden I’m seeing
rainbows and acorns.”
In “Star Struck,” he approximates quite well a boisterous
Mick Jagger type, pouring liquor over himself and extemporizing
ridiculous rock songs on the spot with his trusty guitar, Janis.
 At
times the humor gets downright offensive, as in “Happy Unbirthday,”
in which Anthony portrays, with frightening accuracy, Sanchez’s
retarded nephew, complete with helmet, palsied hands, and red suspenders.
The birthday party, involving two strippers, only gets weirder from
there. (“I’m happy! I’m happy!” he bleats
as he slaps his hard-on through his high-waist shorts.)
No matter the character, though, the episode always culminates
in a big load in the face and the Hammer following it up with a
pungent blast and the insipid exclamation, “Farthammer style!”
In point of fact, I think the site would be hotter and more entertaining
if the flatulence weren’t at the center of it – the
characters and the comedy are enough to carry it, and perhaps porn
viewers should be given more credit than to be plied with fart jokes.
And anyway, who really wants their sex interrupted by shits and
giggles? Well, maybe some people do.
 Email this review to a friend
|
