Reviewed by Mark Buckingham
Want to see a porn site someone probably threw together over a weekend? Go to ExtremeJewel.com. It pretends to be the portal to all things Jewel De'Nyle, but she has an official site elsewhere. In fact, I can't seriously believe she had anything to do with this mess. Even porn stars have standards for quality.
For starters, the front page boasts thousands of hi-res pics. There are neither thousands nor are they hi-res. There might have been thousands intended, but roughly a third of the pic links I clicked on didn't open anything but a blank page. That's shoddy. And if you consider something less than 640x480 a "hi-res" picture, then come on in, but you're missing the boat elsewhere.
The video is pretty lousy, too, clocking in at thumbnail size resolutions even when downloaded in "high" quality. Clips register less than a few minutes, only come in brief scenes, and are pretty small, usually below 2MB apiece. Why they couldn't have offered anything a little more substantial is a mystery to me. Like, maybe, those full-length movies they promoted on the front page?
Then we move on to the "Hours of Hardcore Video," which all exists in off-site links, some of which are entirely broken, and none of which feature Miss De'Nyle herself. The content is sparse, low-res, and occasionally a skippy mess with scratchy static for audio. Sometimes it doesn't work at all. Not exactly something I want to see again, let alone pay for.
The brightest star of the off-site content is probably Peter North, but the Real Media clips look bad enough that you just don't want to go there. Look for superior Peter North stuff at his own site or countless other places. I went to the "What's New" part of the site, hoping to see some great thing I'd missed, but that didn't help much. The last recorded update came on October 31, 2001. They said tons of great stuff was only a few days away. Maybe they meant a few years away. The online store was never implemented, adding to the long list of things not working or shabbily executed on the site. Heck, the first time I tried to see how much the site cost, all I got was error messages.
I can't really knock the layout for being fairly basic and not terribly flashy, but since they didn't put much work into that, they could have at least made sure the content excelled or that the links and pages on the site all worked. It's not up to snuff, none of it, and I can't say I had much fun with ExtremeJewel.com at all.
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