Reviewed by SexHerald Staff
With a name like AdultLand, you’d expect some vagueness: it
sounds like the name of a porn superstore. And indeed, that’s
essentially how the site presents itself: on the front page, there
are six photo feeds, six video feeds, and six live feeds to choose
from, plus a toolbar across the top of the page (huh huh, she said
‘tool’) that ostensibly leads you to more. Where to start?
Well, I’m a fan of movies. So I clicked on Videos.
The first video feed assured me that Alexis is on fire. Being something
of a pyro, and always up for something new and strange, I took a
look. The logo is the only thing in flames, as expected. But the
subtitle promises something even more interesting: The Net’s
Only Erotic Lactating Contortionist. Hm! It makes me deeply question
how many adjectives one needs these days to be called the “only”
anything on the net. The videos here are interesting; Alexis twists
herself into various positions, licks her own calves, and moans
fetchingly, all in a tiny two-inch by one and a half-inch screen.
And for some reason, there are typing noises in the aural foreground.
Next!
Feature
films, a collection of full-length film feeds from top-level video
companies like Wicked and Adam & Eve. Decent quality, playable
in Real or Windows Media, and still tiny.
Next!
More hardcore movies, hardcore videos, all streaming in Real or
Windows Media, the full-screen button doing absolutely nothing to
make them larger than two by one and a half.
Jenna Maxxx. Mila, Queen of Nasty. Movie of the week, in glorious
three-by-four inches and pixilated streaming. Behind the Scenes
with all of your favorite pornstars – as soon as you get through
clicking the zillion different settings into place – and then
it’s simply a series of pinup photo shoots with banal voice-over
and bad music. And live chat rooms – that lead you to pages
asking you to lay out more money.
Naked
News and KSEX Radio are available from this site as well –
though they require you to enter your username and password repeatedly,
and crash Explorer as often as not.
Mainly, AdultLand is a portal for a whole bunch of porn you’ve
probably seen elsewhere. It may stream properly (if in a small size)
and may crash halfway through, or may simply look like crap. It’s
pretty expensive, at $49.95 a month, but it has so much content
that it could keep your hand busy for a lifetime. Yet none of the
content is original, which makes for few surprises and no personal
touches. If it’s quantity, not quality, you’re after,
and if you have time to skip around and press buttons for a while,
browsing for what you like – in short, if you’re a constant
porn window-shopper – then this site (packaged with other
mega-sites ostensibly with more sharply-focused content like threesomeorgy.com,
bigdickedshemales.com and ghettonasty.com) might serve your needs.
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