Reviewed by Scott Axelrod
 What is it about enterprising entreporneurs that makes them rush into throwing up sites and skipping the steps that will potentially make members whip out their wallets/wieners, and give critics no choice but to shower them with praise? Perhaps the thought of rolling around waterbeds dripping with cash corrupted the designers of 3DGirlz.com, a virtual reality sex simulator promoted as a “game” that (as of this writing) doesn’t include nearly enough interactively interesting content, and is plagued with kinks that can’t even be confused with being kinky.
 Cut from a similar spankerchief as Sims-esque creations like 3D-SexGames.com, you’re immediately thrown into a sort of cyber-purgatory that isn’t anything other than a character customization program that first has to be downloaded. Although the graphics are, at a glance, life-like and impressive there aren’t nearly enough options and opportunities on tap to create incredibly creative, or even fun, wet-your-pants funny sex scenes in a computer-based world.
 Choosing solo, boy/girl, girl/girl and boy/girl/girl sets the stage for how many “Hotties” you’ll be building during a session. From here, the business is a pretty lackluster affair wherein you choose your lady parts from an under-stocked selection of races, hair colors and styles, eye colors, breast sizes (A to DDD), glossiness (which is possibly supposed to be oil or sweat), piercings (you either have both nipples and your clit done, or nothing), pubes (you’re either bald or landing-striped—aren’t merkins making a comeback?), a few different typical types of lingerie, a nurse and schoolgirl uniform, and a pair of glasses. Making a man (who resembles Duane “The Rock” Johnson) is a much quicker procedure that involves penis-picking: medium, large and supersize—whatever happened to “small” and “micro?”
 Once out of the operating room, you place your players in the magically fantastical settings of a forest, medieval castle, temple (in ancient Greece?) and an empty room. Even with the tutorial, the arranging of the action is awkward and takes fumbling between your mouse and/or keyboard. The multiple camera angles (POV, Head, Pelvis, Fixed and the annoying Auto-Rotate) are too close, too far and too dizzying. Between automatically allowing the action to play like any other videogame cinema scene, or using your “manual” hand, you’re limited to watching repetitious humping through a list of positions, or moving your mouse over continuously bouncing breasts, dipping a dildo and a banana (I couldn’t get the other two “toys” to even appear), and holding down heads during blowjobs. Clicking the pop-ups that make your Hottie “Feel my tits,” “Slap my ass,” or “Rub My pussy,” gets boring even before the first time you do and see it, while at the same time, a heart icon fills up to bring the ladies to a quick moaning “orgasm” and a cum drop icon causes white pixels shoot out your dude’s straight-pointing pecker with blink-and-you’ll-miss-it velocity.
 For no apparent reason, a page of real-life, downloadable porn scenes is offered as a side note, as is an exclusive model gallery, that I’m assuming from the one 900-photo/5-video collection posted during my visit, is supposed to feature the models that the game’s models are modeled off of. Nothing is written to support this theory though. 3DGirlz.com, honestly lacks the originality and choose-your-own-adventure style of similar simulators, and sadly takes a fun afternoon of virtual adult directing, and turns it into an overly flaccid graphic designed sex show of erectile dysfunction-inducing proportions.
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