Reviewed by Don Luis
Sense and sensibility are best used to describe Joanna Angel’s XXXorcist. Not so much because of any overt connection to Austen’s irreproachable work, but because of Angel’s seemingly innate ability to completely offend every sense and sensibility you could possibly possess. But, you didn’t pick this review, or even consider this title because you had a weak stomach, did you? This is the very same style of post punk, art house-y porn which gave Angel’s sites renown at the outset.
This past Halloween here in the city that never sleeps, a star-studded screening of the film played at an exclusive downtown location which gave way to ungodly bacchanalian celebrations no doubt frowned upon by all who consider themselves holy. That said, you will receive no more warnings from this reviewer, for God will surely not help you here.
The surfabilly soundtrack-ed opening scene is Joanna’s ‘sexorcism’ starring Burning Angel productions regular Tommy Pistol as Father Murken. When all other methods fail (and following a particularly messy repainting of the walls and everything inside them in neon green), Pistol realizes he must attempt to fuck the hell out of Angel. This only caters to the beast’s whims, however, and poor Pistol, tested nearly beyond his limits by a demonic Angel in heat, is pushed back by a powerful projection from her possessed pussy that plasters him against the wall as evidence of her orgasm. Squirt fans, Cytherea has nothing on this.
The beleaguered prelate recovers consciousness in time to find Kylee Kross now possessed and deeply embroiled in hot girl-on-girl action with Angel. The good father attempts to intervene, but only succeeds in getting double teamed by both women. The mother, being only a secondary vessel, and an afterthought at that, gets the hell good and truly fucked out of her in short order once the Virgin Mary-shaped dildo comes into play. An unending series of ministrations are required of our poor priest before the task is complete, and good readers, you may in fact find yourselves taxed by film’s end.
Fans of the 80s movie Clue will enjoy the film’s multiple endings – ‘happy’, ‘sad’, or ‘fucked up’. I of course had to go with the ‘fucked up’ ending on first viewing, and, well, you’ll just have to see for yourself. Joanna’s Angels devotees will appreciate comedic genius Tommy Pistol’s very own ‘Uncensored’ track, and those of you, like me, who are simply hellbent on blackening your soul should not hesitate.
TheXXXorcist
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