Reviewed by R.W. Hulme
According to my wife, ‘coochie’ is a common nickname for a woman’s vagina. Knowing that, it wasn’t tough for us to guess the focus of Tom Byron’s DVD King of Coochie. As the title suggests, King of Coochie is all about the ‘cooch,’ and there are five of them on display here, each attached to pretty young ladies eager to pay tribute to the self-appointed ‘King of Coochie’ (that’s actor/director Tom Byron, by the way—paper ‘Crown of Coochie’ balanced rakishly on his head).
In a series of five scenes, ‘The King’ gets down and dirty with his ‘coochie’ co-stars, the emphasis of each performance being vaginal sex. Considering how popular anal sex is in most modern, mainstream porn, it’s rather refreshing to see a DVD dedicated to ‘old-fashioned’ sex. In fact, there’s no anal in this movie whatsoever.
“And so there shouldn’t be,” my wife snootily pointed out, watching Tom Byron perform. “It’s not his birthday or Christmas.”
But although pussy-pounding plays the prominent role in King of Coochie, that’s about as far from the formulaic as Tom Byron dares to step. In fact, each of the five scenes featured in King of Coochie are overly similar, playing out, one after the other, like a pornographic version of Groundhog Day.
Each scene begins and ends in exactly the same way: the same positions, the same camera angles. In fact, only the girls and the sets change. Despite slick production values, that lack of originality ultimately leaves the whole production feeling rather flat.
But two things do stand out about King of Coochie. First off, there are the girls themselves. Shayne Ryder and Dakoda Brookes, especially, are simply delicious. Carolyn Reese, who I initially discounted as the least lovely of the five ‘coochies,’ literally ‘blew’ the competition away with her talented lips and tongue, performing a blowjob on Tom Byron that was worthy of an academy award.
Byron also mitigates the formulaic fucking by interspersing it with some zany onscreen antics. Between each scene, he zooms about the city of Los Angeles making snarky comments and gurning to the camera while Hollywood landmarks like Grauman's Chinese Theatre whiz past in the background.
Although it’s not groundbreaking, or even particularly original, King of Coochie is just plain old fun. Tom Byron is enthusiastic and appreciative about his beautiful co-stars and their primo performances reflect that.
“Or, maybe,” my wife snootily pointed out, “they’re just grateful not to be getting it in the butt for once.”
From the crazy cover art (a cartoonish Tom Byron points out that ‘coochie’ is free from trans fat and MSG) to the improvised antics on screen, you get the impression that the concept of King of Coochie was simple: A man, a camera and some serviceable sex. The DVD reflects that, delivering no more and no less than what it promises; there are some trailers and a chapter index included, but no noteworthy special features or footage.
My wife and I both found the formulaic sex scenes rather drab, but enjoyed the cheerfulness of the movie. My wife also pointed out that it was a good choice for couples, as bypassing the anal sex made it much more appealing to ladies who might feel intimidated by all the apparently effortless anal going on in most mainstream pornography. TheKingofCoochie
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