Reviewed by SexHerald Staff
A beautiful, large, round ass is absolutely heavenly. There’s nothing hotter than a gorgeous woman with her big behind swaying back and forth as she walks. I can go on all day talking about big butts. Unfortunately, I must reserve this column to a review of The Big Butts of Boobsville. I like big butts and cannot lie, but I do have standards.
The makers of The Big Butts of Boobsville run the web site Boobsville.com that heralds itself as the “Big tit capital of the world.” As that title suggests, they mostly put out porno devoted to large breasts. Seeking to branch out, Boobsville.com has produced a big butt DVD. After watching it, I think Boobsville.com should have stuck with what they know. The DVD starts off with a placard saying “It’s heart attack time again for big butt lovers.” If you have a weak heart in regards to lousy porno than please heed the warning.
This DVD is made up of seven shorts. The first is entitled “The Sleazy Photographer and the Big Butt Babe.” The photographer is named Pierre Dirty Le Feet. For some strange reason, he looks a lot like Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, complete with greased hair and Hawaiian shirt. On top of that, the model looks a little bit like Dina Plato from Different Strokes. I always thought Dina Plato was hot, so the DVD gets an extra point for that. She gets to model some cool looking bondage gear and then proceeds to get fucked by Ace Ventura...I mean, the French photographer.
In the next segment a “dirty old landlord” rents out a room to a Swedish exchange student. They must like granny panties in Sweden because that’s what she’s wearing. The panties quickly come off and we get some mediocre sex on screen. As lousy as this scene is, we are forced to another helping of it later on in the DVD.
The biggest butt goes to the titled character in “Miss Big Butt and Dildo Man.” Not only does she have the biggest butt in the DVD; she also has the biggest set of eyebrows. Let’s ignore the eyebrows and focus on her butt. She definitely has a lot of it, and the phrase, “more cushion for the pushin” applies perfectly to her. After modeling some pink panties, she gets a surprise visit by the Dildo Man. Armed with a vast array of phalluses and vibrators, the Dildo Man pleasures Miss Big Butt’s rather hairy pussy.
The fourth segment is the worst. The horny landlord rents out to another student. It includes a shot of a woman trying to look seductive at the camera. Trying is the key word since; she really just has a blank look on her face. She obviously gets an offscreen command to lift up her skirt that results in her rapidly fumbling with her dress. Her blank looks turns into a look of confusion. It’s not a good sign for any DVD when the performers look lost. The poor girl here has zero sex appeal. Her attempts at sexiness are cringe inducing to watch.
Returning in the fifth segment is the Dildo Man. This time he is joined by Miss German Butt. The Teutonic goddess here is the prettiest chick on the whole DVD. She has thick thighs; nice sized breasts and blonde hair. She knows how to ride a cock and when she sucks dick she does so by pushing her ass up in the air. That was a nice touch on her part.
The vibrant redhead in the next segment has the smallest butt out of all the girls. She gets her ass worshiped by an ethnic looking gentleman with greased hair. This segment takes the prize as the funniest segment in the DVD. The dialogue is so bad that it’s actually fun to watch. You’ll be too busy laughing to jerk off when you watch this segment.
The last segment in entitled “Butt to Butt Lesbians.” It’s a promising title that fails to deliver in a horrible way. There is young blonde who gets a dildo shoved down her throat by an obese woman in lingerie. The title of this DVD should have been “Any Women We Could Find.” The blonde, who in the front looks fine, turns out to have a weird looking ass covered with red blotches. And this woman was picked to be in a butt DVD!
If you have a Hawaiian shirt fetish you might like this DVD since every other guy in it is wearing one. Big butt fans on the other hand, will be very disappointed in this DVD. TheBigButtsofBoobsville
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