Title: Teen Idol Studio: Smash Pictures Director: Mike Metropolis Cast: Holly Morgan, Nautica Thorn, Gia, Christina Agave, Kimmie Cream, Paris Lee, Mark Ashley, Rick Masters, Kurt Lockwood, Steve St. Croix, Scott Nails Genres:: Young Women, Anal, Blowjobs, Bukkake, Cumshots, Interracial, Oral Condoms: No Reviewer: SexHerald Staff

Rating:

I’m not quite sure who to pass the blame on to when it comes to Teen Idol from Smash Pictures (Stocking Secrets series, Legal Skin series). If I were a person who judged sex purely based on the stars and the individual acts I saw portrayed, I would blame five of this film’s six female stars. However, those of us who take the entire Porn Valley system into account know that if the director and producers want to snag some credit when a film is good, an equal amount should be passed to them when a team effort goes badly.

A glaring example of this pops up in the first scene, where Nautica Thorn and Holly Morgan play school girls to Mark Ashley’s hung and horny janitor. Usually scenes like this just make me want to return to a simpler time when one could get paid minimum wage to sprinkle sawdust on vomit (we’ll get to that soon) and have sex with the student body on the side.

Sadly, Nautica Thorn is the only student body pounded by Ashley’s janitorial pillar. Even though Morgan is around watching the action, the most we get out of her is when she soaps herself up with the suds in the mop bucket. I’m going to guess that this two base error falls on the stats of the studio or some no-name agent, because any director that would see two hot women on his set and willingly decide to only use one should reconsider his position behind the lens.

Next up is Houston native Paris Lee in her first scene ever. Slack, however, is reserved for amateurs in amateur films, if you’re going to jump directly into the glossy big-leagues, you need to look like you’re into what Rick Masters is doing to you. In the Behind the Scenes section of the DVD, Lee claims that her name is not a shout out to Paris Hilton, but the packaging trumpets her as “Paris Hilton look alike, Paris Lee.” Whoever wrote the contradictory copy must have compared Lee’s scene to A Night In Paris because they both are skinny, attractive women having sex while looking like they’d rather be texting their friends on their Sidekick III. It might explain why certain parts of the scene use (very obviously dubbed) pleasure noises.

Things aren’t so bleak for Gia’s scene with Steve St. Croix. Both stars seem to be having fun and Gia delivers a very physically demanding performance as she’s fucked half a dozen different ways while on and in a limousine. Steve St. Croix sounds like he is genuinely excited about having sex with this girl, and she makes the viewer believe that this is how amazing sex can be with a physically fit, flexible young women.

Like an Idol judge of the American variety, I can only point out how the flaws in this film detract from the overall effect. I can pontificate for hours about the subtleties that took me out of the fantasy world I was watching, but in the end – stick with my metaphor – the viewers are the ones who vote. Check out Teen Idol and let me know if I’m a trustworthy Randy or a pessimistic Simon.