Reviewed by SexHerald Staff
Sometimes when I'm reflecting in my imaginarium I imagine a perfect world, one with no wars and no venereal diseases, a world of laughter and a world where they never canceled Herman's Head. This world is a
beautiful place, where the men are strong and handsome and the ladies are drunk, horny as hell and totally shaved. I don't know about getting Herman's Head back on the air, but the ladies are all yours in the dreamland of Real Adventures 69.
As I ease out of my imaginarium, I picture what the Girls Gone Wild series is like. I see a lot of fancy cuts and in-your-face graphics. I see titties as far as I can see. As Snoop Dogg says, "Just watch the pandemonium," and I do, but I'm not impressed. This is where I get off--literally--and hop on the next train; the #69 to Real Adventures Land.
There's a valid appeal to the idea of going up to a woman on the street and saying, "Please remove your clothing so I can look at your
breasts, any piercings you have, and if I'm really lucky, your vagina." This is the secret man has been searching for since the
discovery of fire: Why can't I just go up to ladies and get them naked? It's so simple, yet so complicated.
Here, we see a variety of women in different social situations, usually very drunk, ready, willing and able to take off their clothes
for the cameramen of Dreamgirls video. There's Mardi Gras, where the ladies will do anything for beads; there's Spring Break wet t-shirt contests;there's flashing everywhere from a construction site to a
parking garage; there's scenes from a Mardi Gras-esque party called Fantasy Fest in Key West; and finally, some skirt-chaser called
Pantyman gets down on the uptake for some barren-beave shots on the
dancefloor.
The best thing about this movie is the variety of women they find -
they don't discriminate: old, young, slim, busty, wind-socks, cheeky,
flabby - these are real ladies in the raw, being stopped on the street by some dudes, thinking they were
flashing for Girls Gone Wild, but ending up in Real Adventures Land
instead.
The intolerable thing about this movie is the in-between vignettes of
this one lady fingering herself and flashing with such ennui that one
wonders if she's taken a detour to H-town. Her tits are creepy and
after you have some laughs over some girls having a good old time,
they cut back to old sour puss. There are some things on here, though,
that you probably don't see on Girls Gone Wild, like up-close box shots and pussy
licking and finger-banging and dildo action. They're able to hold your
attention until the end, though, because they save the dirtiest stuff
for last. RealAdventures69
 Email this review to a friend
|
