Title: Open Up and . . . Say Ahhh! Studio: Adam & Eve Productions Director: Nick Orleans Cast: Monica Mayhem, Violet Blue, Holly Hollywood, Honey, Wendy James, Ariana Jolley, Lisa Sparxxx, Joel Lawrence, Byron Long, Steven St. Croix, Lee Stone, Ben English, Joey Ray Genres:: Straight, Uniform Condoms: No Reviewer: SexHerald Staff

Rating:

“Open Wide, my dear, while I insert this down your throat.”
“What is it, doctor? A tongue depressor?”
“No, it’s my cock.”

Open Up and Say Ahhh! Gives us a new look at the medical profession as patients are treated using the latest in sexual practices. The first thing to note about this video is that I was damned impressed with some of the shots that were chosen. There’s some extremely hot footage captured and I found myself pausing and rewinding to watch it over and over again. Kudos on the direction.

I’ve also got to compliment the dialog. Some of the exchanges in this video are classic and reminiscent of old-school porn. My favorite in the second scene as a young woman describes her restless condition and nightmares to her psychiatrist. He asks her “Do you find yourself snapping at people?” to which she replies “Yes, a little bit.” He then stops, thinks to himself for a minute, and says “Hmm, why don’t you show me your pussy.” As she was dutifully complying, I thought to myself what a fantastic segue into the sex. I was both aroused and amused at the same time.

Open Up and Say Ahhh! had the makings of a really good porno. Seriously, the action is hot, the dialog is quirky, the girls are gorgeous, and the guys are hung like gorillas. It coulda been a contender…it coulda been something…so what makes it a bum? First of all, over half the scenes in this video are washed out. The gamma levels are ridiculous as every shot near a window, exposed white wall, overhead lighting, or even glistening skin produced a blinding glare that distracts from the action.

Second is the issue of sound. All throughout this video the sound is absolutely terrible. As much as I enjoyed the quirky dialog, the fact that I had to turn the volume all the way up to hear it verily sucked ass! Everything was recorded from the same poorly placed microphone so that not only was the sound low, but what you could hear sounded like it came from all the way across an empty room. These factors are crippling enough to run this video and it’s a damned shame because it could have been really good. OpenUpand... OpenUpand... OpenUpand... OpenUpand...SayAhhh!SayAhhh!SayAhhh!SayAhhh!