Reviewed by SexHerald Staff
Let us consider the Girl Who Goes Woo. She is a college undergrad, usually very inebriated, often festooned with beaded necklaces depending on the locale and date. She comes in all shapes, sizes, and hair colors, almost always wears thong underwear, and can be seen at any number of high-class social functions. But her one distinctive characteristic is this: On the count of three, she will raise her tight top to reveal bare breasts, do a little half-hop to give 'em some life, stick her tongue out and holler "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" in a voice an octave or two higher than it should be. I think most of us can agree that breasts are great-- a lot of fun to look at, sure-- but do they have to be accompanied by the high-pitched screaming? Prolonged exposure to this seems to inspire an adverse Pavlovian reaction; now instead of drooling when the girls lift their tops up, I cringe and cover my ears.
Night Club Flashers 5 should be the ideal video to showcase the Girl Who Goes Woo in her natural habitat, and I do have to admit that you get a fair number of them over the course of two hours. But for the most part, this video sticks with fully-clothed, drunk girls. While some of them do go "woo," it is unfortunately for no real reason, and we have to endure many shots of them dancing on a bar without any payoff.
Inexplicably, the boobs 'n butts are few and far between. If anything, this video will successfully emulate an average night at the club for many guys: there's lots of loud bass-thumping music, you're gonna see a lot of eye candy, and maybe if you're lucky someone will flash her thong, but you're ultimately going to go home empty-handed. At least this way you don't have to shell out the cash for the cover charge and expensive, watered-down drinks.
The nightclub featured here is more of a good, old-fashioned, trashy bar than a swanky nightclub, really. It encourages the young ladies to dance on the bar, even giving them a handy railing up top for drunken clinging-to, and a DJ who continually warns the frisky lads below to "keep your hands off the ladies or you'll be eating 7th Avenue the hard way." I wonder what the easy way is. Occasionally a girl is invited back to the "DJ booth" where she's talked into flashing her rack, and after that it's pretty easy to get her to show her thong.
The cameraman is genial and quite persuasive; he manages to be enthusiastic and friendly without getting creepy. He gets a few girls to drop their thongs and let the camera get up and underneath while they "do the booty shake." That's pretty much the only angle you'll get here, so this video should really satisfy those who hang out at Sniffer's Row. There's no sex apart from a few breast fondles and some drunken girls half-kissing. Just low camera angles and lots of low-cut blouses.
There are some interesting and revealing bits on the video, though, for those who enjoy playing armchair anthropologist. We can deduce that it was shot New Years' Eve 2002. The bar is some place in the south, as the clothes are quite warm-weathered for December. There's a booty-shaking contest for the bar-dancing girls, though we never find out who wins. And the girls who show up in the DJ booth aren't getting paid to show off their charms (a few refuse to drop their thongs for that very reason). That's what annoyed me the most, really: the girls are asked to show it off for free. Surely a little financial compensation would've been nice! Any other agreement just reeks of bad judgement (though I'm not sure if bad judgement is a stranger to some of these girls; one had "Beer" tattooed in gangsta gothic letters just above her thong line. Well, it could've been "Beef." I'm not sure. Those letters are hard to read sometimes).
The freakshow just wasn't enough to hold my attention, sadly, not even with the girl who had "rock star" tattooed inside her mouth on her lower lip. Between the infrequent displays of flesh and feeling rather guilty for the girls (guilt in porn is never a good thing, folks) I really didn't find much to enjoy about Night Club Flashers. Perhaps if the video had been called "Night Club Mostly-Clothed Girls Who Go Woo" I might not have felt so disappointed by the whole exercise. NightClubFlashers5
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