Reviewed by SexHerald Staff
Newbies can be summed up as follows: five scenes of clean-cut young guys who probably have surf racks on their cars banging beautiful young girls in the same zebra-print-decorated apartment. There is nothing necessarily wrong with any of them – hey, they’re all alright – but this otherwise well-shot flick is a snore. For me, the only thing that got a rise out of this flick was the remote control with my finger on the fast forward button.
Even if I hadn’t been watching waaay too much Nacho Vidal agro-filth lately, my reaction to this flick would be the same: it’s tame. Some of these starlets, like the blonde knockout Sunrise Adams and petite cutie pie Desert Rose, continue to build their names and reps in the industry (Newbies dropped in 2002), but I found little heat in this production despite all the eye candy.
Perhaps my disinterest is the result of the sameness of the five scenes. Plenty of houses that turn out same-setting romp flicks on a shoestring budget (including Anarchy, to be fair) manage to deliver heat in spite of the thrift, but Newbies fails to do so. You get your reality appeal by way of young, tattooed hipster-types Slim Shady and Tristan boffing cute chicks that you’d want to sit next to in a college-required geology class. Watching this flick, I was definitely jealous of these dudes, but the sex seems so rote that it fails to compel.
It’s a shame that the heat never reaches the boil point, because technically, this is a well-edited, well-shot production that is easy to navigate (each scene is conveniently chopped so viewers can clip ahead to the money shot if that is what they want). The only technical downside is that the “special behind-the-scenes featurette,” which the box art claims as a bonus feature, is nowhere to be found, whether I am watching it on my DVD player or on my laptop.
Newbies for me registers as less-than-average, by-the-numbers, amateur boredom. Viewers would be better served by seeking out newer stuff from these starlets. Newbies
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