Reviewed by SexHerald Staff
Mr. Beaver Checks In #18 is a goofy, half-baked stinker with soap opera-level production value and low-boil sex. The premise is as follows: this older British buzzard (probably mid-60s) bumbles across the globe as a traveling salesman and finds himself, well, at least watching some passable sex involving mostly throw-away amateurs. Mr. Beaver, who sports a crunchberry nose that is often the result of too many decades of scotch intake, manages to bust a sizeable nut or two, but despite that and the light, semi-funny interludes, this film is borderline unwatchable. In fact, the setups tend to be more engaging in their head-slapping stupidity (picture a dumbed-down Benny Hill-crossed with one of those PBS travel programs) than any of the lukewarm sex on the tape.
At points, it just gets pathetic. In one scene, some over-ample blonde tells the naked Mr. Beaver that she’s “seen bigger sausages on a Christmas dinner.” (I guess you have to hand this guy some points for his willingness to be the butt of jokes like this.) He is then ordered to sit down and watch as a skinny, dark-skinned, bespectacled guy eats Blondie’s pimply pussy and proceeds to make her jiggle with some more aggressive pig-dogging. Blondie seems to be enjoying herself, but she spends most of the scene on her back. The audio makes the action seem sustained, yet the cuts between close-ups combined, perhaps, with the lazy and almost clinical-looking action, make for pure boredom.
If there is appeal here, it might be for those viewers with a few years on the baby boomers who can imagine themselves in the shoes of a silver-maned chap with wrinkles and a paunch involved in sex scenes that roll like Penthouse letters outtakes. There’s also probably some appeal for viewers who prefer watching non-airbrushed amateurs instead of well-muscled super studs and surgically-augmented super starlets.
This film is not entirely a waste, though. There is a reasonably hot lesbian scene in a Middle Eastern museum where, while Mr. Beaver looks on from an accidental hiding spot (a giant clay urn), two short-haired feline treats get down and dirty with each other. It is not remarkably compelling, as there is no tangible buildup amidst all the girl-on-girl touching and tonguing, but the beauty of the pair and the decent camera work makes for some good eye candy.
Unfortunately, this scene is another example of one of the main drawbacks of this film: Mr. Beaver is frequently relegated to voyeur status, and judging by a couple of scenes, he deserves more opportunities to give the featured tarts a jolly rogering. The poor bloke clearly has the ammo, as he voluminously demonstrates with Blondie and Glasses Boy, but more often than not, he’s left to sigh and shrug it all off.
So, if I have a message to Hustler, it is this: if you’re going to reel in the Korean War vet set, give Mr. Beaver more satisfaction. Your target audience doesn’t want to be frustrated, they want fantasy that leaves them satisfied. Mr. Beaver Checks In #18 will likely leave most viewers cold. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.BeaverChecksIn#18BeaverChecksIn#18BeaverChecksIn#18BeaverChecksIn#18
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