Reviewed by SexHerald Staff
How can one properly sum up the man that made women everywhere question the size of their partners’ cocks? “John Holmes Remembered” isn’t exactly the ode to the porno legend that I imagined, but what better way to pay tribute to Holmes than to show him doing what he did best. The phrase on the DVD’s back cover sums things up. “The man. The myth. The guy with the gigantic cock!” That pretty much says it all.
This DVD lacks any kind of extras one could hope for. The opening menus only option is a scene selection. A bit of a bummer, but what this disc lacks in extras, it makes up for in content.
Essentially “John Holmes Remembered” is a compilation, featuring select scenes from “Johnny Wadd’s” ultra-prolific career. Since each scene is selected from various full length movies, a linear story line is nonexistent. The little dialog that does exist is only relevant to each particular scene. This is pure fucking here. Most scenes begin with the already naked Holmes and his partner(s).
The quality of each scene definitely varies. All shot on film, some scenes are more grainy than others. I did have a problem with one particular scene that was very poorly exposed. The camera work, though sometimes a bit shaky, isn’t enough to remove the viewer from the on screen action.
The opening credits cut right into a one on one couch scene with Holmes and a sexy faired skin beauty. Very sensually, the two suck and fuck each other until Mr. Holmes shoots his load all over her milky chest (in slow motion). An all around sexy scene, this opener sets the tone for the rest of the DVD.
Only two scenes are one on one. The rest vary from two girls on Holmes to an all out eight person orgy. Every scene includes your typical 70’s instrumental track, except one particularly bizarre scene that begins silent, and ends with music. In it, two half naked kittens turn Holme’s cock into dessert with the help of whipped cream, sprinkles and chocolate. After the dick snack is devoured, the girls wipe down John, and recommence the enjoyment of all his 13 1/2 inches.
There are six scenes in all. However, I was pleasantly surprised when what I thought was the final scene ended, and a new one began. By far the best on the DVD, the hidden “seventh” scene is the only one with a semblance of a story line. Holmes plays a lost hiker who stumbles upon a naked bathing woman with great tits. Needing to phone his hiking partner, Holmes is reluctantly let in. Before long, the big tittied woman and her gorgeous friend take turns working Mr. Holmes’ anatomically incorrect dick.
If you’re a true Holmes fan and/or have a soft spot for porn shot on film, this one’s for you. I’m sure that a few technical flaws will do little to keep you from enjoying the sight of Holmes stuff his giant rod into some genuine 70’s bush. JohnHolmesRemembered
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