Title: Fucking with the Stars Studio: All Worlds Video Director: CoCo LaChine Cast: Manuel Torres, Kevin Brown, Luca DiCorso, Derrick Vinyard, Arpad Miklos, Derrick Hanson, Zackary Pierce, Jamie Donovan Genres:: Gay, Anal, Oral, Tattooes Condoms: Yes Reviewer: Daniel Kelly

Rating:

When I popped Fucking with the Stars into my DVD player, seeing some very hunky and hot porn stars on the DVD case, I expected to experience some very hot sex scenes. What I did not expect was a horrendously campy send-up on Dancing with the Stars with the likes of Bruce Vilanch and Chi Chi LaRue playing the judges and feeling up the porn stars between the sexual encounters, which are implied to be taking place in front of this motley panel of judges. Needless to say, any hope of me becoming turned on by this movie was thrown out the window immediately…

Having said that, let me try to be really objective here. The way to do this is to “filter out” the bad stuff while watching this film. Now, do we really want to have to do that when leaning back to relax and enjoy ourselves with a porn? Well, if you want to get through this movie you do.

Focusing simply on some of the sex, this is what I could have enjoyed had the context of the film been different. For starters, the models are gorgeous, and look incredibly sexy dancing and stripping down—until they dance over to Bruce Vilanch and get ogled and sometimes groped. Young, adorable and tattooed Kevin Brown’s tight ass looks incredible getting fucked when he’s on all fours. Manuel Torres is a stocky hairy Latin hunk whose tongue works magic between Derrick Hanson’s cheeks. It looks great when his hairy cheeks squat on Hanson’s face, and the load he shoots on Hanson’s chest after screwing him is astounding.

Lean Luca DiCorso gets into a hot 69 with studly Arpad Miklos, who makes great slurping sounds when DiCorso sits on his face. And muscle boy Derrick Vinyard has his fantastic ass rimmed by a twink.

Now for the bad. To begin with, this is porn 101. Every scene involves two guys doing your typical suck, rim and fuck, all on the same stage, and it is predictably always the bigger guy who screws the smaller guy. Yawn. And then there is the campiness and the humor, if that’s what it’s supposed to be. It’s painful. It ruins the sexual experience. Bruce Vilanch is in the same frame as gorgeous naked porn stars. The movie is edited so you feel as if the sex is taking place on stage in front of Bruce Vilanch, and you can’t help but wonder if he really was standing just off screen. There’s really nothing more I can say.

Maybe in the 1980s when power-packing 3 hour erotic extravaganzas weren’t being produced by major adult film companies, something like “Porn Star Search” could have worked as a play on a popular television talent show. But in the new millennium, it is an embarrassing novelty that drains all eroticism from the film, wasting some very sexy men. And I can’t say it enough. I NEVER want to see Bruce Vilanch in a porn flick again, even if he is just sitting on the sidelines.