Reviewed by Don Luis
At first blush, F.I.L.T.H. Hunters comes off as the average gonzo production. But to stop there would be a major discredit to the delicious properties of this film. I know how you think - every skin flick has to span at least two hours to be considered worthwhile, 'x' number of positions are required per scene and, unless you're a major fan of plot lines (and there's nothing wrong if you are. In fact, there's quite a bit of it to be had here) you probably think the chatter should be kept to a bare minimum. The rest should be non-stop action, at least five scenes' worth with as many girls as scenes and likely a few more thrown in for flavor. Mix, bake at 350 degrees for the aforementioned time, et voila! Souflee a la porno!
Despite this flick balling up the rules sheet and tossing it squarely in the circular file, I must admit Platinum's latest offering had me fearing a non-chemically induced priopism by the end. For starters, editor's favorite Violet Blue plays the sexy secretary to frustratedly married Barret Blade, who is suffering through the weekend while his wife and daughter are out of town. She throws him a sales pitch at the opening of the film, bet he's not falling for it, despite his resonant complaint that he 'needs excitement to find him'. Further proof that the butterfly effect really works resides in the following couple of scenes. Hailey and Mandy are a young lesbian couple made for each other. Taylor's dangerously curvy California blond aesthetic heralds back to Marilyn Monroe, and Youngs high energy, insatiable wiry physique is just as memorable in crotchless neon pink fishnets and jet black sleeveless top.
Girl meets girl in the kitchen as Mandy has her hands in the sink, and the intrusion of her lover with a camera inspires her to cover the white tank top with water and suds, teasing the improtu auteur, until she simply cannot stand it any longer and unveils the prize hidden behind Hailey's ultrashort denim mini skirt. Once the action gets rolling, POV shots of wavy blond hair showering out from between slender, tulip stem legs as she buries her face between the camerawoman's legs abound, and I think I learned a few new positions to use in such a situation should it ever again arise.
Later on, in bed, Mandy reveals that, though she has been completely infatuated with the woman before her that, of late, she has been feeling a burning desire for the cock. Hailey is completely taken aback, and intially refuses to accept any such insipidness, though, after a few days contemplation, she agrees on a few conditions: 1) she gets to pick the guy, 2) she gets to be there, and 3) it all has to go on film. The two woman kiss and make up and it's time for manhunting on the streets of Chicago.
After a day of twists and turns that take us through most of the neighborhoods in the Windy City and past Wrigley field, the intrepid ingenues find themselves circling the levels of the parking structure where frontman Barret Blade happens to be walking to his car after a long hard day of work. They accost him and, as only is conceivable in porno land, manage to convince him in five sentences or less that he needs to take them both back to his place for a roll in the hay (that tired old line: 'so, wanna fuck?' still manages to carry some weight whenever uttered by a sexy young blond). He does so and the predictable unhinged threesome unfolds in the master bedroom, but with Hailey receiving the greatest amount of attention, and apparently enjoying herself all the same.
Blade seems to have added some girth around the midsection, and perhaps just for this film, though that would be the only indication I can see of a 'Father' figure in the entire collection of situations here. Well, poor daddy's luck doesn't end there, and when he gets back to the office, he lets Violet (who has just been summarily snubbed by her listless live in boyfriend and told - 'why don't you go fuck your boss?') that he's ready to take her up on her offer. In her current state, she is more than ready to acquiesce, and the two tax the office furniture for every other purpose but business related use.
This is where the real surprise comes in: FILTH Hunters pulls in at only 60 minutes and change, though, with the density of action and dialogue between all the characters, and the number of scene changes going on, you will never ever know it. Kudos to Platinum Blue for pulling that off. And as cliche as it may sound, be sure to check out the Bloopers track for things you thought you would never see on a porn set, and the extra scene for an amazing POV blowjob scene between Blade and Just knowing that these types of women exist should make getting past your thirtieth birthday that much easier. Leave the hunters a trail to follow and pick this one up on your next trip to the store.
 Email this review to a friend
|
