Reviewed by SexHerald Staff
Sometimes it’s easier to haul butt if you aren’t hauling an extra 150 pounds of it. No worries – the big boys in Bears Hauling Butt are going to give it a go anyway.
For the fans of “bears” on film (and I’m not one of them), this DVD might be passed over at the video store. The models are average and the packaging is sub-standard. The DVD has but a few limited additional features – a few previews and the standard photo gallery – and the film itself is under an hour in length. Not a lot of bang for your buck.
The film opens with Markus lolling on his bed, trying to awaken. One big paw sneaks underneath the covers and...you can do the math. He begins masturbating over and around his massive gut fantasizing about a threeway with two other equally large partners. Markus even gets on his hands and knees, fondling his balls as he wanks it, emphasizing his backside.
The film’s soundtrack completely drowns out the initial dialogue making it difficult to hear what the three men are saying to one another. It appears as though the men are moving and packing; JYD then takes a break to shower. Meanwhile, Tank is carrying a box of dildos which splits open from the bottom. Perhaps for some guys, the mere sight of a used dildo is enough to get the party started. And sure enough, Tank and Markus start fondling one another like giddy and curious schoolgirls.
The director uses a tired technique of moving the viewer back and forth between the fantasy and the reality of Markus masturbating. Even so, it gets a little confusing. Markus stops masturbating in bed to put in a video of another Cyber Bears product (shameless plug!) so he can continue jerking off. Remember the “movers” fantasy from a few minutes ago? Even though Markus has moved on to watching an unrelated video with conceivably unrelated action, his original fantasy continues to play out.
Markus sucks Tank while we get split shots of JYD scrubbing up in the shower stall. They switch off and include a little rimming. The action here is very fast-forwardable; these are long sequences with no change in angle to break it up.
JYD finishes his shower and (you guessed it) catches the other two in action. He joins in for some mutual suck and nipple play. As Markus pulls out a dildo in real-time to plug himself, JYD uses one on him during his fantasy. JYD eventually fucks Markus while Markus sucks Tank. The viewer is treated to one position that never alters. Markus gets off in the fantasy and at home – everyone’s happy except you the viewer.
My doubts about this film after picking up the DVD and looking at the cover art were confirmed. Even if you overlook the fact that the models have less than average pricks and more than average statures, this DVD fails to arouse. BearsHaulingButt
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