Title: 18 and Babyfaced Studio: Mojo Video Director: Unavailable Cast: Unavailable Genres:: Gonzo, Amateurs, Asian, Black, Blondes, Blowjobs, Brunettes, Double Penetration, Interracial, Oral, Straight Condoms: Sometimes Reviewer: SexHerald Staff

Rating:

"18 and Babyfaced" is like the porn version of a cheap hooker. But wait, hear us out. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, if that’s what you’re in the mood for. An Alan Smithee film with no credited cast or production staff, "18" offers plenty of cheap, bulk porn for your buck. Four hours of it, to be exact. There’s better ones out there, to be sure, but sometimes you have to take what you can get.

So the film is a little shaky and grainy. You’ll want to mute the soundtrack, which ranges from staticky background noise caught by the camcorder to 80’s techno music. Once you get past the five minutes of phone-sex ads at the beginning, you’ll find yourself with a menagerie of real people, really doing it. No silicon, no makeup, no shame. This is something you’ll pull out when you’re slumming, or desperate to see someone fuck someone else and don’t have time for niceties like framing or scripts. If High Grant had had this film, he might have satisfied his urge for skeeve in a much more private manner.

The movie jumps through its twelve scenes at a brisk pace, offering up all combinations of interracial sex, lesbianism, oral, anal and double-penetration. The anonymous cast doesn’t appear to be professionals, and they bring authenticity if not refinement. They aren’t as clean-shaven or combed as their counterparts in fancier titles, but they are nice to look at. Their attractiveness is proportional to your horniness. Sweating, grunting, sloppy orifices- all the hallmarks of real, physical sex are here, for those of you who prefer their scenes sterilized. Because of this, the cumshots aren’t always captured on film, and they come without warning when the couple’s had enough. If the cameraman catches it, great! If not, there’s another one coming up in a couple minutes, so hang tight.

There are some downsides to the quickie approach the production takes. In some segments, the director tries to tint the plain white background walls different colors with a blue screen effect. The problem comes when an actor is sweating or catches the light the wrong way, and his chest changes to match the purple background being projected. It looks… different.

Another downside is the advertising. It’s like going to a website riddled with pop-ups, and it gets annoying fast. This is a large part of the reason we rated this movie so low. Nothing is more distracting than being in the middle of a scene and having ads pop up over a body part or scroll along the bottom of the screen. Between segments, full-screen ads for phone sex services fill up time. The effect is that of feeling a little dirty afterwards. Not from the sex, but from your choice of video partners. You’ll wonder what exactly it was that you found so hot about it the night before. But next time you want a fast, plain, effective booty call, you’ll pop it back into your DVD player.