Product: The Margarita King Producer: The Margarita King Approximate Retail Value: $18/bottle Category: Other Country of Origin: Mexico Reviewer: J. Harding The F Words: Flavor – Sour, tangy. Feel – Thick, syrupy. Finish – Salty.

Rating:

You know how when you were in college, there were those parties at the not-so-cool frat? Maybe it was DKE, or Sigma Chi, or SAE, but it was certainly not the frat where all the cool guys and hot girls hung out. And maybe, after too many kamikaze shots, you’d realize that you were in no state to get home to your dorm. But, even though you might seriously reconsider actually standing up, you weren’t really done drinking. You still thought you had some party left in you. And you’d look around at the various empty beer bottles and red plastic cups, and you’d take one that you vaguely remember putting down somewhere nearby, and you’d take a swig. You remember that taste? That’s sort of what The Margarita King premixed margarita tastes like.

Not that that is necessarily a bad thing. I think it’s important, when picturing your 22-year-old self passed out on a couch, to remember how much fun you were having. You didn’t have to get up the next day. No one really expected anything of you. It’d be okay if you vomited all over your roommate, because he’d probably do it to you too. I guess that’s where I land, when it comes to The Margarita King. It’s easy. It’s quick. It’s enjoyable. It tastes like a moderately good margarita. You can’t really mix it with anything besides ice and salt, but it doesn’t need any mixing. It goes down a little thick, but I expect better blending on my part would have solved that problem. It’s just like that frat party. It’s fun.

And it’s trashy. Most likely, the next morning, when you awake with spittle encrusted on your face and your hair sticking to the surface of the table where you took

body shots off, well, somebody, you’ll regret your decision to stay at DKE for the extra half hour, that turned into two hours, that turned into the entire night, that turned into the hangover you’re nursing. In the same way, imbibing Margarita King instead of, oh, I don’t know, actually mixing your own margarita, will probably make you reconsider your drinking habits when you put down the empty green-glazed bottle and really take a moment to think about why you purchased a pre-mixed cocktail. Maybe I’m old-fashioned. But I say, don’t go the bad frat party. Make your own margaritas.