Product: Bu-Tay Citrus-Flavored Vodka Producer: Get Sum, Inc. Approximate Retail Value: $24/bottle Category: Vodka Country of Origin: California, USA Reviewer: J. Harding The F Words: Flavor – Sharp, citrus. Feel – Thick and sweet. You’ll regret not serving it cold. Finish – Nyquil for alcoholics.

Rating:

Bu-Tay Vodka smells like Tang, looks like antifreeze, pours like cough syrup, and tastes surprisingly good. I was totally prepared to dislike this blue concoction (yes it’s blue, like toilet-bowl blue) but there’s a fratboy-esque charm to its 60-proof citrus flavor. I’m pretty sure it has the worst name of any vodka in the world, and I’m completely positive that said name will prompt hours of uninspired puns at Sigma Chi rush parties across this great nation, but I have to say it’s “bu-tay-licious.”

I decided against mixing myself the cocktails recommended on the Bu-Tay Vodka website and instead I struck out on my own. I would feel a little perverted making myself a “Slu-Tay” anyway. Straight Bu-Tay is a little like a one-night stand with a USC frat guy; it’s fun at first, but as time goes on vomiting seems like the only means of escape. Bu-Tay and cranberry looked a little suspect, and tasted only slightly better. Bu-Tay and tonic, on the other hand, had a kinky blue sparkle to it and tasted like regular Sprite. It was my favorite of the Bu-Tay drinks, but truth be told, they were all palatable.

Bu-Tay is labeled as a “citrus-flavored vodka,” but I think that’s a misnomer. It’s “citrus-flavored” the same way that Puerto Rico is “its own country.” The lemon-lime gel they poured into Bu-Tay was probably detergent, and definitely not found in nature. Subtlety is not Bu-Tay’s strength. It is blue, after all. Bu-Tay is produced by a company called Get Sum, Inc., which may actually explain everything. I don’t think it’s an appropriate beverage for your grandmother’s birthday party, but if you’re planning a Christmas kegger Bu-Tay would be the perfect way to get Santa’s naughty little helpers that much naughtier. Grab a bottle and take it to the next DKE formal. You’ll thank me when he becomes a senator.