Product: Bailey's Original Irish Cream Producer: R & A Bailey & Co. Approximate Retail Value: $19.99 750 ml/bottle Category: Liqueur Country of Origin: Ireland Reviewer: SexHerald Staff The F Words: Flavor – Sweet and creamy. Cream liquor is a balancing act between sugar and whisky, and Bailey’s stays on the right side of cloying, although the caramel, chocolate and vanilla notes in there can’t claw their Feel – Luxurious. The rich cream floats on the tongue like a cloud, but the high sugar content gives it a thick and viscous consistency that coats and clings to everything it touches. Finish – The subtle touch of whisky finally conquers the dominant sweetness to leave a pleasant aftertaste.

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Bailey’s Original Irish Cream begs to be drizzled and slurped from a partner’s torso. Bailey’s is a beverage with two prime uses: to get college students drunk, and to make cheesecake. It excels at both these functions and for those needing a drunk coed or a slice of cheesecake, I highly recommend it and in fact request that anyone with a way to combine these two delights email us.

Apparently, I am not the only person out there with an unsettling appreciation for fattening treats; according to the company, 2000 glasses of Bailey’s are downed every minute of every day.

Bailey’s is especially effective with the early-twenties crowd because the high sugar content of this Atkins-unfriendly liquor masks the 34-proof kick it carries out of the bottle, and will also disguise a hefty shot of vodka, too.

Bailey’s combines well with a host of other sweet liqueurs, and layers easily to make shots with wink-wink names like the Slippery Nipple, made by floating Bailey’s on top of Sambuca with a drop of grenadine added to the center. Perhaps it is the drink’s thick, milky appearance and resemblance to a (vastly idealized) male secretion that leads mixologists to name their Bailey’s concoctions with frat-boy aplomb; names like Screaming Orgasm and Blowjob Revenge abound.

This is not a drink that will impress anyone with your taste and discrimination, but for girls who want to screw the bartender, asking for a Screaming Orgasm is an effective, if cliché, way of getting banged in the stockroom.

There is a tremendous selection of outright imitators and variations on the cream liqueur theme, but Bailey’s is the best-tasting of its genre and is well worth the higher cost. Lower-priced competitors apparently attempt to cover up their cheap ingredients with artificial flavorings and more sugar, and are tolerable only as an accompaniment to ice cream.

And what exactly is the taste? Eggnog is a close counterpart; although the product does not contain eggs, it shares that holiday quaff’s nose, mouthfeel and hint of alcohol. Friends described it as alcoholic coffee-mate or an alcoholic milk-shake, and although there are hints of chocolate and vanilla in there, the dominant flavors are of cream and sugar with a sensation of alcohol.

Getting drunk on Bailey’s or Bailey’s cocktails is something most people only do once, which is another reason it is most popular with newer drinkers. You’ll be ill from the sugar and cream overdose long before the hangover, and although it tastes like melted ice cream, it does not share that food’s remarkable ability to taste just as good coming back up as it did going down.

The Bailey’s brown bottle is iconic of Irish Cream, but Bailey’s Minis are a new addition to the Bailey’s family. Bailey'sOriginalIrishCream These airplane bottle-sized servings are perhaps an attempt to market to the drinking-at-the-movies crowd and hey, what would go better with this summer’s display of Brad Pitt’s intensely ripped ancient Greek six-pack than a throatful of gooey goodness?