Reviewed by R.W. Hulme
Given that they both feature microscopic budgets and sketchy camerawork, it’s surprising that nobody’s tried combining the classic Spanish telenovela with hardcore pornography before. With Strictly Conversation, director Paul Thomas attempts exactly that and the whole thing works out beautifully.
Strictly Conversation stars newcomer Meggan Mallone as a frustrated girlfriend, throwing herself into the study of Spanish. She complements her weekly classes by cooking a variety of Mexican meals for her unenthusiastic boyfriend, all while trying desperately to get him off the coach and onto an airplane to Mexico (or, failing that, just into her bedroom).
Meggan Mallone simply makes this movie. A former fashion model, she’s absolutely stunning, like a young Neve Campbell genetically spliced with Kate Beckinsale. Her beauty is enhanced by an infectious enthusiasm for the role. Certain scenes, like when she tricks her boyfriend into eating dinner ‘Mexican style’ (chowing down like a dog, with his hands behind his back) emphasize the ‘entertainment’ in ‘adult entertainment.’
I defy any heterosexual man not to get a raging erection simply by watching her bite her bottom lip in that ‘cute/confused’ look she pulls off so perfectly.
Meggan’s the best thing in this movie, but that’s not to suggest that the rest of the cast isn’t pretty great. During her attempts to learn Spanish, Meggan hangs out at a local restaurant run by Lorena Sanchez and sizzling Spaniard Ramon. They’re both Hispanic hotties who get up to some seriously sexy action in the kitchen (which must contravene health and safety regulations)!
Most of Lorena and Ramon’s scenes are in Spanish, but they’re pretty self-explanatory (leading director Paul Thomas to hike up a subtitle at one point saying: “You don’t need translations, right? You get what that was all about.”) Ramon’s a romeo and he’s got his eye on the sexy customer with the sketchy Spanish. Lorena, as the classic hot-blooded chica, is seething with jealousy.
I won’t spoil the plot, but as you can imagine, it all works out in the end (with a spicy threeway, no less.) The fact that I’m even bothered by how it all works out just goes to show how successfully Paul Thomas has hijacked the telenovela format. While the camerawork isn’t always competent and the acting’s inconsistent, the story’s still cute enough to keep you watching even between the hardcore scenes!
Overall, Strictly Conversation exceeds expectations in almost every department. I’d buy this movie purely for Meggan Mallone, who is hypnotic whether she’s stealing a dramatic scene, or getting pounded by her well-hung costars. The rest of the movie highlights are just extra cheese on an already delicious pornographic quesadilla.
As is normal from Vivid, the DVD comes crammed with extra features, like a positions menu, a gallery of stills and a cute ‘Making of’ featurette. With the slick menu system and attractive packaging, that all makes for a very solid product that almost anybody would be proud to place in their collection. It’s an especially delicious movie for couples, as the whole thing’s cute, funny and doesn’t push too many envelopes sexually. The only downside? After watching Strictly Conversation, my terrible Spanish hadn’t improved at all! StrictlyConversation
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