Title: Wet: Erotic Adventures in Water Author: Ellen Kate Publisher: Quiver Books Publish Date: 2007 Pages: 128 Genres:: How-To Guide, Non-Fiction, Self-Help, Straight Reviewer: Chris R. Morgan

Rating:

Personally, when it comes to bodies of water, nothing could be further from being sexually gratifying. While some may envision a From Here to Eternity-style crashing waves fling of bronze sand-encrusted skin and loose bikinis, I see a dark, wide-open mouth waiting to engulf my very being into its cold oblivion. That said, those who tend to the former might find this a useful romp to flip through.

If you're like me, i.e. your libido developed while young with your social skills following years later—say college, you might have spent your lonely teenage years in the public library in search of such a sex instructional because you're too old to get kicks from National Geographic. Of course, once you lay eyes on the grainy illustrations with the implied pleasure and penetration, and skim over some of the decidedly unerotic instructional prose, it's more of a laugh than it is a turn on.

While Wet is indeed a sex instructional, it is one with a much grander makeup. The whole affair demands your complete attention with crystal-clear photos of extremely attractive, wet/sand-covered couples—that may or may not remind you of yourselves—in the various, albeit just barely explicit, sexual positions; basically, they're softcore. The models give intense, satisfied looks into the air and into each other as genitalia lock into place. Oh yeah, and there are words too.

The text is made up of the expertise of author Ellen Kate. A New York University professor on all things coital, Kate pulls out all the stops; it seems that there is no end to what one can do with another or with one's self in the vicinity of H2O. Broken down are all the right positions, acts, toys, games and locales (beach, hot tub, shower, etc.) to make your aqua romance near-flawless. The text is written in straightforward language that doesn't confound the reader and reminds him/her that this is all in good fun. Adding an even more leisurely touch to the prose are the brief personal accounts of people just like you recounting their most awesome sexual experiences, be them on water or not. Despite this, some of the prose can weaken: A back section with tips on jerking off seems strange on paper but are probably better once undertaken in practice.

Not all of our sex lives can be fulfilling all the time, so it's when books like this come in handy. Unlike the aforementioned sex instructionals in the library stacks, this one is not delivered in a sex education tone; rather it’s a bit warmer and, shall we say, compassionate in wanting to help get you laid better. Though you probably won't look as good as the models do partially submerged in a salt water tide, but Kate knows a thing or two, so it wouldn't hurt to humble yourself with some sage advice for the sake of a solid performance.