Title: Unspeakable Love: Gay and Lesbian Life in the Middle East Author: Brian Whitaker Publisher: University of California Press Publish Date: 2006 Pages: 264 Genres:: Gay, Lesbian, Non-Fiction, Sociology Reviewer: J. Henry

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“Almost all the difficulties faced by gay and lesbian Arabs today have been faced at some time by others elsewhere.” This is a very true statement from the author of Unspeakable Love, Brian Whitaker. Beyond snippets in the media of Middle Eastern countries during the sudden war on terror and the Gulf War, many may be ignorant of the ways of the predominantly Islamic or Muslim observing countries in the Middle East. What Whitaker focuses on is just how apt the title of his book is for gay men and lesbians to live openly and be accepted in countries like Iran, Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, Egypt and Pakistan.

Brian Whitaker is familiar with the Middle Eastern culture being the regions editor for The Guardian, an international newspaper. Whitaker was actually encouraged by a gay male friend to start a book on such a subject as a reporter looking in from the outside world. In order to be thorough with his findings and make Unspeakable Love personal, he had to interview many homosexual men and women who preferred to remain anonymous or be referred under pseudonyms to get further insight into the duality of their lives at home. Through these interviews, the reader becomes intrigued and invested in why it seems to be such a mortal sin to be attracted to someone of the same sex. The real story accounts of men and women being ostracized and terrorized at home by friends and family as well as strangers for simply being who they are, ring true to the reasons why it is so important for there to be a bevy of information available in all areas of life as to the realities of sexuality.

Unfortunately, by strict religious standards, many gay men and lesbians must live their lives in secret or denial if they want to retain a good relationship with their family. The laws in these regions differ; homicide, beatings, unlimited harmful actions towards homosexuals in the Middle East cater to a prejudiced way of life where a brother will not be prosecuted for shooting his brother after finding out that he is gay. Because it is considered to be a family matter the authorities do not interfere, nor may they have since homosexuality is considered deviant behavior.

There are many standards to live up to in the Muslim culture where perception is first and foremost for families to retain respect in their neighborhoods. Even the personal life of distant family members can deter the chances of being considered a respectful family which trickles into social and financial aspects of your lives. Bringing disgrace upon a household in any way is simply not an option. Brian Whitaker goes through the ringer of the archaic way homosexual men and women are treated in addition to the religious and familial belief that hinders the acceptance of their sexuality in their own country. It seems that one of the main things that deter a more universal understanding is the lack of specific information and the fear of Western thought pervading another culture. In the current “fight for freedom” in Iraq, Western societies seem very selfish and dominant. It is this perception that also attributes to hatred and misunderstanding of something another region is uninformed about.

What comes off as reminiscent of American culture as some may consider lesbianism a “fad” is that it is a bit more tolerated in Middle Eastern regions than male homosexual relations. As women are expected to stay pure until marriage, a female-to-female relationship is considered “safer” because it is believed that there is no worry about losing one’s virginity or is there the threat of pregnancy.

The triumph of Unspeakable Love is in the presentation of the reasons for the lack of acceptance of homosexuality in religion, tradition, and culture. Even the government tries to seek out homosexual men and make them work for them to reveal others. Some men have killed just to retain their secret for fear of losing all credibility. Unspeakable Love is both heartbreaking and intriguing as Whitaker exposes the reader to another culture that is not too unlike one’s own. As much as some would like to think that the Middle Eastern region has an antiquated way of thinking, there are portions of the U.S. and Europe that share the same sentiment of homosexuality being synonymous with deviant behavior. What it seems to stem from is interpretation of Sodom and Gomorrah. While nothing is specifically relayed in regards to male-to-male sexual relations, it is the thought that causes many to connect homosexuality as a negative part of one’s life, yet it is not as clear cut. While no solutions are readily available to a whole nation, we can hope that a more contemporary state of mind may invade so that the main sentiment from the Holy Book of peace is realized. Nonetheless, it is great that Brian Whitaker sheds further light on a subject to enlighten many.