Title: The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three Author: Vicki Vantoch Publisher: Thunder's Mouth Press Publish Date: 2007 Pages: 372 Genres:: How-To Guide, Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Non-Fiction, Straight Reviewer: J. Henry

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Handbooks are meant to serve as guides for tools in life such as brushing up on grammar, familiarizing yourself with Web design, or getting some much-needed information before pursuing the threesome you’ve been fantasizing about for months on end. With The Threesome Handbook,the reader is not only getting information from one who researched it to write the book, but also from a married woman who experimented (both successfully and not) in trisexual trysts with other women. Vicki Vantoch sought to create a comprehensive how-to as you prepare, go forward, and deal with adding a new partner (or partners) to your sex life.

Nowadays, the thought of a threesome may not be so taboo; instead, it has become a major staple in sexual fantasy. With books being published on swinging, delving into your bisexuality, and polyamorous relationships The Threesome Handbook tries to stand out from the rest as being a more practical guide for beginners who may not have had much luck scouting on Craigslist.

Pursuing a threesome is indeed a step-by-step process that needs to be considered thoroughly. As Vantoch tries to sum up a wealth of knowledge in eight chapters, she hinges on some very important things that need to be taken into account. While threesomes may seem erotic in thought, the actuality of it may not be all you’d hoped. Finding the right mate, making sure your partner(s) are comfortable and setting boundaries are key items to consider when asking another man or woman to join you and your significant other in the bedroom. Vantoch offers places and sites to visit when trying to “score” with your girl or boyfriend. Picking up a threesome partner is synonymous with trying to find a partner for one-on-one action. So make sure you’re confident, smell good, and that your game is very strong when trying to entice someone to be a bit on the adventurous side if they haven’t been already.

Other aspects of a ménage-a-trois to take into account are the variation of emotions that may run amuck once you’re in the intimacy stage. Is your partner truly comfortable with you being intimate with someone else in their presence? Did you as part of a couple map out some boundaries that neither should cross or as a single did you cater to one partner more than the other? Jealousy isn’t something that should be ignored or pushed down deep inside because you want to satisfy your partner’s voyeuristic side. Nor should a man not consider that a threesome could include another man and woman rather than two females being catered to.

What’s great about The Threesome Handbook is that Vantoch offers advice on how to deal with the awkward situations that can arise from both the male and female perspective of having a same-sex or different sex partners. With the addition of confessions from those who have experienced the highs and lows of multiple partner sex, it brings you closer to the realistic side of venturing into your fantasy rather than just thinking it looked hot in the last Jenna Jameson film you saw.

Other factors that Vantoch adds in are diagrams of the male and female body in case you’d like to prep before encountering your own genitalia up close, in addition to an array of threesome positions that range from M2F, F2M, F3, or M3; and, the always important chapter on safer sex now that you’re sharing and being shared. To top it all off, Vantoch offers the chapter of reflection. Does a sexual interest as a man for a man make you gay or adventurous? Leave the labels for food and consider what you enjoy. Perhaps you have just tapped into that homoerotic area inside your psyche that allows you to truly cater to your sexual and emotional needs. Why can’t you be in love with two people at the same time? At one point, Vantoch realized she was in love with her husband and her best friend and they with each other as well as her. There are different ways to look at a threesome relationship and something to ask yourself is if you are willing to truly pursue a triad relationship that can be long-lasting and emotionally complex should it arise or are you simply out to have a good time on occasion with an additional sex buddy, no strings attached?

Vicki Vantoch provides vocabulary builders to understand polyamorous lingo, suggests games to play to break the pre-threesome jitters, and encourages you to be open-minded, honest, and to feel pride at being able to open yourself up to new and exciting experiences. She also provides a list of quotes and no-fiction and fiction titles that refer to sexual discourse outside of what some would consider the old-fashioned “norm”. The Threesome Handbook may not have all the answers, but it has enough to get you started and ease you through your trisexual play.