Title: The Sexually Confident Wife: Connecting with Your Husband Mind Body Heart Spirit Author: Shannon Ethridge Publisher: Broadway Books Publish Date: 2008 Pages: 288 Genres:: Self-Help, How-To Guide, Non-Fiction, Psychology, Straight, Women's Studies Reviewer: Elizabeth Hatt

Rating:

Do you think you are a sexually confident wife? Better yet, do you think you are a sexually confident woman? The author explains early on why she directed this book at married women: the challenge and game-like quality of sex that we experience as a single female wears off after months, years of being with the same person. But as an unmarried gal at the beginning of a new, yet serious, relationship, I can assure you the concepts and issues addressed are just as relevant for those without a ring.

Ethridge introduces the four components necessary for a fulfilling sexual relationship—a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual connection—explaining how the first two rank more important with men, while women constantly strive for the second two. And we all know how this difference in priority can affect our relationship—that feeling of resentment that overcomes one partner because s/he thinks the other only wants their body. The author confronts this difference with exactly what she’s preaching… confidence. Bluntly, she states how women should give in and have more sex to make their husbands happy because without the physical satisfaction there cannot be an emotional connection. Her assertive ‘experience speaks’ tone, combined with plenty of juicy personal tales, is very convincing.

It is obvious this book was written with the 42 percent of married woman who ‘consider their sex life routine and boring, or non-existent,’ in mind. The book covers any and all issues that a woman might face that could taint her sex life. Ethridge’s attempt to provide every woman with an understanding of her sexual insecurities is adequate but definitely falls short of actually solving anything. With only a chapter dedicated to each topic, such as dealing with sexual abuse and insecurity about body image, you can’t expect any in-depth resolutions. But if you are someone who needs a kick in the butt, then this is your book.  Real-life examples from letters and emails Ethridge received throughout her career act as a gentle and comforting reminder for women that they are not alone. And since only 8 percent of married women deem their sex life “very hot,” there are a lot of women up against these obstacles.

Logically organized, the book tackles the most damaging of experiences first and ends with ideas to celebrate your newfound confidence, such as encouraging sexual confidence into your children. The very descriptive and casually graphical examples can easily make the conservative reader blush so you might want to think twice about reading it on your morning train commute. But at the same time, the eroticism of certain sections will leave you revved to get back into bed.
It was somewhat hard to believe that Ethridge had a personal example of experience for almost all of the sexual relationship obstacles discussed. But if you can overcome the skepticism, you will be left inspired. She believes ‘every woman deserves to enjoy great sex with her husband’ and her determination to get her point across, along with her personal triumphs, can instill confidence into the most stubborn woman. 

I would definitely recommend this book to all women—married, dating and single, whether you are unsatisfied or still glowing from the big “O.” There is always room for improvement in some facet, and if nothing else, it’ll reaffirm that you are indeed a sexually confident female.