Title: Same Sex in the City (So Your Prince Charming is really a Cinderella) Author: Lauren Levin & Lauren Blitzer Publisher: Simon Spotlight Entertainment Publish Date: 2006 Pages: 250 Genres:: Non-Fiction, Compilation, Interviews, Lesbian Reviewer: J. Henry

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Authors Lauren Levin and Lauren Blitzer are young 20-something, trendy Manhattanites who have not only engrossed themselves in the ‘Sex in the City’ fashionista, media-induced lifestyle, but both also came to terms with their sexuality and embrace being lesbians. As they felt that there were not enough texts available when they were adolescents to assure them that having feelings for other women is quite normal–and doesn’t make one a freak–they decided to combine forces and write, Same Sex in the City for many young females who may be going through the same tug of war with embracing their sexuality.

Levin & Blitzer divvy up the chapters into the essential parts of female homosexuality from the inklings of sexual feelings for someone of the same sex, to the realization, embracing, coming out, dating, heartbreak, friendship and even ‘hooking up’ with straight chicks in a dozen chapters packed with suggestions/advice, lesbian lingo and real-life stories from Levin & Blitzer and a host of other lesbians who came to terms with their sexuality during puberty or over a longer stretch of time.

The process is not an easy one and one’s sexuality may not be as evident to some as it may be to others. Many of the women interviewed for Same Sex insist that they weren’t sure they were “normal”; instead, they kept their fascination and arousal of other women secret, remaining in the closet for years perhaps even decades. While the interviews do not offer concrete advice, they do supply readers with the ideas of what others have grappled with and perhaps provided someone to identify with.

Chapters such as ‘Heartbreak’ are pretty basic in the advice they provide: “give yourself time”, “drown your sorrows in ice cream”, “get back on the dating horse,” etc. Opinions such as these don’t seem to change no matter what sex you are dating. After a while time heals all wounds, or so we hope. The portions that stick out the most are the stories of coming out, how to meet women (in certain areas the Internet may be your best bet), and your first time are important to share so that other lesbians can understand what other young females thought and felt about the process.

Sections like ‘Passionate Friendships’ and ‘Hooking up with Straight Girls’ are interesting tidbits to add as consideration once you become fully involved in lesbian life. The dating pool is small and it is more than likely that you may become involved with a woman who considers herself straight. Perhaps this will end well and she will be ‘converted’ or it won’t and your relationship will end badly. This also seeps into the passionate friendship section where you have straight female friends who are flirting with the idea of being with a woman, but don’t have the guts to cross the line.

Overall, the sections read like journal entries or as though you’re sitting with one of the various scribers named Rachel, Lauren, Paige or Hallie who just want to enlighten you as to what you may feel and repeatedly remind you that you’re not alone.

It seems that Levin and Blitzer’s range for interviews was a bit biased in that many are from well-to-do families and proclaim that being a lesbian and Jewish is practically “unheard of.’ What about the child coming to terms with lesbianism while living in the projects? What about those who have families that are very orthodox in their religions (or just uber-conservative) and perceive homosexuality as a sin? What about the person living in lowly populated towns in the Midwest that are trying to find their niche? Homosexuality branches outside of the city, and while Levin and Blitzer experience the bulk of their lives in Manhattan or some other booming city (as do many of their contributors), they’re excluding those still in those little suburban towns that need someone to open up to.

Where are the tales of and for African-Americans, Latinas, Asians, and Native Americans who have come out or are too afraid to come out of the closet? My advice to the authors would be to broaden their scope of whom they interview, while we don’t know the ethnicity of everyone who provided insight those that were involved did not hesitate to proclaim their “elite” (and blonde) social status. One of the more egocentric portions is when Lauren Levin proclaims that she was unhappy and couldn’t understand why, “Here I was, a cute, Ivy-League–educated, relatively wealthy, popular girl who saw nothing but dimness in her future. I’d even scored a new boyfriend, a Jewish doctor.” While this also shows how you can ‘seemingly’ have everything but still be unhappy unless you’re honest with yourself, there’s also the element of self-boasting that perhaps many or few may be able to connect with.

While there are numerous guides available on lesbian sex, there are but a few that provide insight into the more tender and emotional side of being a lesbian. And more importantly, what it’s like once you have accepted this part of your life–and hopefully others have too. Same Sex may not be the most universal guide for those of us who may not consider ourselves–as so often used to describe women throughout “hot”–but at the heart of the stories being told it’s great to have someone commiserate with on a deeper level.