Title: Millions of Women are Waiting to Meet You Author: Sean Thomas Publisher: Da Capo Press Publish Date: 2007 Pages: 300 Genres:: Memoir,Reviewer: Chris R. Morgan

Rating:

If you're the type of person who can't fail without making a wacky misadventure out of it, then perhaps you too are fit to write a memoir retelling of your gallivanting in a direct, slightly witty, accessible, and perhaps embellished fashion. Da Capo Press seems to take much interest in that type of somewhat nonfiction narrative. They've already printed Toby Young's smarmy outing as Graydon Carter's chief pain in the ass; now, they bring you a (somewhat) new type of folly.

Sean Thomas is your average guy who happens to be a semi-successful freelance writer and author. While that seems nothing short of being sexy, Thomas establishes that he is in his mid-30s and terribly, pathetically alone. Leave it to his editor to have the solution: online dating. And thus Thomas' epic journey begins.

The narrative trails Thomas delving full-on into the crevice of uncertainty that is online dating. He sifts through countless sites of quality ranging from reasonable, albeit pricey, to questionable and too fetish specific. From then on, Thomas recalls his highs and lows of the dating universe in a flurry of profile photos, racy messages, chat rooms and observations that might be obvious to any MySpace enthusiast ("curvy" equals “tubby,” avid cat owners pine for little human pets). He shares advice for creating an effective profile, apparently correct spelling really attracts attention of the ladies. Thomas’ dates are varied, and yet there is much to complain about for every compliment. In that sense, he represents common sentiments from most men, and everyone else perhaps, “She’s hot but . . .”

Thomas' life is for everyone to read. It's easy to see why he's so successful at magazine journalism. The novel is written in the plainest language possible which, for better and worse, infests magazines of most kinds today. It does keep him from stringing the narrative with ambiguities. This is his truth, his life. He exposes all of his strengths and his flaws. He recalls the ups and downs of his past relationships and close encounters with parenthood: one miscarried, one was aborted from his underage girlfriend. Thomas' unflinchingly straightforward approach doesn't shy away from the more unpleasant aspects of human intimacy seldom read in something like Bridget Jones' Diary. Thomas observes and discusses the many, somewhat taboo yet popular aspects of sexuality like facials and bondage. Thomas does not make a keen social or sexual critic, but that’s the point of it. Thomas’ asides make no absolute intellectual conclusions; he simply shows how average people let down their inhibitions in the bedroom and take some joy in being degraded or just having some dirty fun.

Most men will find this book a delightful, truthful and witty read that they can perhaps relate to and remember that they’re not the only people who suck at finding happiness. Thomas' offer of hope is both sincere and tongue in cheek—he takes the campy approach to ending his book (spoiler alert) by making the title the last sentence. It's a disappointment, however, to see how predictable Thomas' life is when structured into a plot. Much of the book reads like a staler work of Nick Hornby, whose mostly fictional output made 30-something arrested development an art. Nonetheless, Thomas does a formidable job of bringing the experience of online dating to the reader in a personal, open fashion, though it's a few notches above self-help lit. It's not a solid guide as to how it should be gone about or how it always works; it's just one person's encounter with an expansive, overwhelming sub-phenomenon of a much more bloated one.