Title: Confessions of a Video Vixen Author: Karrine Steffans Publisher: Amistad Press Publish Date: 2005 Pages: 205 Genres:: Autobiography, Memoir, Non-Fiction Reviewer: J. Henry

Rating:

Not unlike some books about rock star groupies, Confessions of a Video Vixen is Karrine Steffans' tell-all tale about her experience as a video ‘hottie’ and all the perks and unpleasantness that came with it. After the break up of Steffans' marriage to rap pioneer Kool G Rap, her memoir reads more like a laundry list of married or unmarried men from the hip-hop/rap industry that she slept with than a cautionary tale to young women thinking that the music industry is a glorified business.

Karrine Steffans begins her story during her childhood in St. Thomas where she was raised with an abusive mother; the only solace she had was her grandmother that always came to her aid. After a few years and two younger sisters were born, Karrine’s mother brought her to America where she no longer had the comfort of her grandmother and didn’t understand puberty, boys, or anything of the like. Instead, she understood her mother slept around and began to see the power of using her body to get what she wanted.

Skip ahead to her running away from home again and finding a life as wife and mother in yet another abusive relationship with Kool G Rap aka “Daddy” in reference of her life without really having a father figure. Steffans explains that she remained with him for several years because “…I was tired of running. I had nowhere else to go.” This line of thinking and her reliance on the kindness of strangers will lead Steffans into the arms of many men she couldn’t truly be with.

Once she had her child and divorced Kool G Rap, she went to LA and became a courtesan of Ice T. After learning the ways to party and making yourself known, Steffans goes on to have fleeting and long-lasting affairs with the likes of Fred Durst, Ja Rule, Jay-Z, Shaquille O’Neal, Vin Diesel, DMX, Irv Gotti, Usher, and an anonymous rapper referred to as “Papa."

Her life of trying to be better than the other women around her and constantly finding a male who would come to understand and truly love her leads her into a world of alcohol and desperation. Steffans often used her body to gain financial support from men who at one time seemed to care for her, though in her times of need seemed to want to do away with her for a diminutive amount of money compared to their previous ‘donations.’

Steffans' tale reads more like a journal than informational to the reader. Yes, we learn that many men in hip-hop/rap are not faithful to their wives, yes alcohol is very prevalent in a celebrity’s lifestyle, and yes, unfortunately women are continuously objectified on film and in private. Thankfully, Steffans realizes through faith, true friends, and her savior (her son Naiim) that she had a responsibility to herself and her child to be a better person and to use her mind rather than her body. Having had so much denied or taken away from her, Steffans realizes that she has to begin to do things for herself; unfortunately, this does not come about for a while as the penultimate chapter in the book refers to her affair with Bobby Brown. Even though she briefly opens up her own massage business she is still financed by “Papa” when needed.

Confessions is often repetitive and at times undermines the reader’s knowledge of her suitors by listing everyone’s title along with their name just to make sure they’re aware of the celebrity’s presence she was in. In a couple of places, she repeats that her father would not allow his children to return home after they’d ‘flown the coup’ or why Kool G Rap found so much power in hitting her. After the first couple of chapters, especially once the reader follows Steffans as she tries to find independence in Los Angeles, it goes on to read as a list of sexual encounters of men she loved or didn’t care for. She admits she did stupid things in her introduction in addition to having to rough it, but without the reader being in the situation as much as they are when she describes her sexual encounters or abuse it’s hard to understand how much she had to rough it through telling.

While Steffans is an acceptable writer, her memoir is not very shocking or original. I admire Steffans' willingness to admit her faults and share her story, but it would be better for young women to understand that these mistakes should often be avoided rather than provide an education.