Strawberries, whipped cream, chocolate, and other sweets may be the most clichéd, overused aphrodisiacs gorged upon during Valentine’s Day. This year, how about treating your sweetheart to some hot, red, love meat? Through the ages, a variety of meats have gained aphrodisiac reputations. From wild game meats, exotic bird fare, to prized, hand-reared, sake-drinking livestock (Kobe beef), all meat has been revered to impart vigorous, potent male sexual energy. Because of their “bloodiness” and brilliant red coloring when raw, red meats such as beef, goat, buffalo, and venison are known to arouse ferocious passions. Perhaps this is because of the large amounts of concentrated protein and iron they contain. Maybe it is because of the imagery of masculinity in assuming the strength of beasts will be owned upon their consumption. Regardless of the theories on why meat is an aphrodisiac, “red” meats certainly stir the lusty loins of the carnivorous tongue.

Deliciously common meats of the wild are buffalo and venison (deer meat). Buffalo, customarily eaten in the Midwest part of the States, has long been a staple of the Native Americans, and throughout various parts of Africa. It is quite reminiscent of beef, yet it is a more lean meat with a sweet, beef-like taste. Buffalo is often sold ground, and makes for some delicious and quick burgers. One excellent benefit of buffalo, in comparison to beef, is that it contains significantly fewer calories and a lower fat content, making it a very healthy and sexy alternative to beef. Venison, also tastes similar to beef, has a very supple texture. This meat is sure to give you a taste of the wilderness, as it delivers a very rich, masculine heartiness upon taking it into your mouth.

If you are inspired this Valentine’s Day to treat your lover to a dish of wild game, in hopes of inciting some naughty little wild games of your own, keep in mind that it is much easier to purchase animals of the hunt after they’ve been hunted from your local market or butcher, even if you are a seasoned huntress or hunter. Preparing wild game freshly caught can cause such a string of chores; you’ll waste all your energy skinning, cleaning, hanging the carcass from its feet, that you won’t have any left for the intended purpose of the aphrodisiac: having sex! Game meat is said to be most delectable, juicy, and tender right before it begins to spoil, right before the worms move in, which in my opinion, produces a most nauseating, anaphrodisiac mental image. It should also be noted that wild animals are chock full of bacteria, can carry plenty of diseases, and they require the skilled intricacy of an internal surgeon to properly skin and cook them.  Save yourself the trouble and just buy the damn meat! That way, it can go straight from its butcher paper into the skillet without any hassle and abuse of your precious energy.

Since days ancient, goats have been a symbol of masculine sexuality. Hence the modern phrase “fucking like goats.” The Greek god Pan was half-man, half-goat. He was mischievous and so bent on pleasure that he was purported to nail any female willing to bend her backside over for his furriness to come in for a landing. Goats are known for their giddy, rambunctious fornication, and in addition to the god Pan, they also inspired the playful, nymphomaniac creatures known as “satyrs,” who like Pan, bear the head and torso of a man, and from the waist down are goat. From this legacy, goat meat is eaten to inflame lovers with the passion of goats. Goat meat has a powerful, profoundly unique, musky aroma. The sweetest, finest portion of the animal is the leg. It was a common dish in my childhood home, created in the Caribbean tradition of slow cooking and curried. I did not develop a lust for this type of meat until I reached womanhood… and I guess that is to say that some kinds of meat is best appreciated with maturity.

Beef is perhaps the easiest to find, and most widely enjoyed of the aphrodisiac red meats. Full of iron and protein, beef invokes carnal strength and force. When it comes to beef, there are innumerable ways it can be enjoyed to gratify the senses. The most savored cut of beef is the filet, known for being as tender as it is expensive. Other cuts that are known to delight the palate include rib eye, porterhouse, and prime rib. When eaten in moderation (because too much cow meat will not digest fast, and will most likely weigh one down) beef can be a very erotic main course. Beef, in all its varieties is not only delicious, but also quite sensual in its glorious, animalistic scent and texture. Kobe beef, from the Kobe region of Japan, is famed the world over for its tenderness. Also known
as "Tajima Beef,” Kobe cattle are like the odalisques of Turkish harems. These cows are pampered to such a level that would make any human envious. They are massaged by human hands daily, and are served sake and beer to keep them at a pleasantly plump stature and relaxed, inebriated disposition.

I’m sure you can fantasize about plenty of things that can be considered along the lines of “raw,” succulent red meat, but the Italians, believing in its erotic powers, have made a delicacy of it, in the name of carpaccio. This is a chunk of beef, frozen and coated in a blanket of spices, herbs, and peppercorns. Then it is fried quickly enough to seal the seasonings, without cooking the actual meat. The meat is then sliced paper thin and served. Steak tartare is another aphrodisiac version of serving raw beef, and this is beef  ground, seasoned masterfully, and finished, splacked if you will, with a raw egg. This is a treat I would in no way endorse as a preamble to bedroom frolicking, for the mere fact that it involves quite a bit of raw animal products, and can therefore cause some bacterial issues that may best be avoided… I wanted to mention tartare simply for its aphrodisiac relevance.

Considered delicacies and very erotic are the testicles of certain animals. These aphrodisiac treats are usually reserved for men only, perhaps in hopes of absorbing the potent virility of the animals they come from. In this land, testicles from the bull, quite the male sex symbol, are preferred above all other balls from hoofed mammals. Some of the most famous aphrodisiacs, they are known as Rocky Mountain oysters even
though they look and taste nothing like the” testicles of the sea.” When prepared, diced and cooked, Rocky Mountain oysters do not maintain any semblance to the balls that hang from between any male creature’s legs. For this reason, they can be used as a secret love weapon, and an easily, stealthily disguised philter.

Valentine’s Day is meant to be a day set aside, in the trenches of winter, to be immersed in red, hot, sweaty passion. Red meat is not the stereotypical love treat, but the many varieties are sure to provide more than enough strength and virility for your amorous adventures. I hope this Valentine’s Day brings ample reason to get in touch with your most carnivorous tastes and desires.