Reviewed by Tobly McSmith
The Cone is my friend. Matter of fact, The Cone is my new best friend. We share things, like orgasms. I was first acquainted with The Cone at my local neighborhood sex swag store and prayed that someday Santa would shove it…under my tree. Or stuff it…in my stocking. Either way, I. Wanted. That. Toy.
The instruction pamphlet comes with about 12 pictures of suggested positions. In the butt, up against the wall, sitting on it while orally pleasuring someone else. The geometric possibilities seemed endless. Pictures speak louder than words but just in case they aren’t enough, the instructions are translated into roughly 20 different languages. This toy is determined to bring joy to the entire freaking world.
This is the IKEA equivalent to sex toys. The Cone is clean, efficiently sexable, nicely packaged, and the16 different vibration modes give it a personality that I could only file under frisky. The buttons are functionally placed (when positioned correctly beforehand) and easy to use (so long as you still have bodily control). The Cone is bigger and pointer than one might imagine. I would advise using with an air of caution when humping your tender orifices with such a pointy tip. Although the plastic is durable and flexible, the cone-sequences could be serious if things get out of hand.
My bedmate was bound and I was determined to try all the suggested orgasm-inducing positions. I put my face in my lover’s hot sex and slid the cone under my crotch. A small note on face-down masturbation: It’s awesome. The cone shape is a perfect fit to saunter up on and let the vibrations push hard against your sex, sending chills of pleasure. Ride ‘em, Cow Cone! I have gotten my rocks off every time I have coned myself. Oh boy, I have coned myself and coned myself and coned myself. A quick note, this toy is built to penetrate any available hole, albeit not deeply like some may crave, but The Cone best serves external stimulation.
What’s the fun of having a toy if you don’t share? Standing my sex slave up and bending her face down over the bed, positioning her over the cone, strapped a dildo on and proceeded to take care of her backdoor as The Cone took care of her front door. Now, that’s a full house. She came hard and was reduced to a quivering ball of orgasmic delight on my bed unable to form sentences for at least 20 minutes. High fives and five orgasms all around for The Cone! TheCone
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