Reviewed by Tobly McSmith
My living room has four different remote controls lying around at any given time. I think my bedroom was getting jealous. I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t excited about trying out my very first remote control sex toy. These days even remote controls come with remote controls, so why can’t my pussy have one as well? My prayers were answered when I received the remote-controlled Silicone Slims Self-Satisfier.
With a remote, even one with a cord, and enough discretion the public voyeurism possibilities are endless! When I (seductively) inserted the batteries, that were not included, and started sampling the different vibration levels I noticed something about this pretty pink plug, it was scaring my cats sitting across the room. The shaking staff of love was so loud if I had a senile grandmother in the other room she would tell me to turn my TV down. Sadly, public displays of masturbation were ruled out.
The “Self-Stimulator” doted on its 100 percent silicone texture, which did have a unique hard yet soft and clean feeling. The thruster was complemented with a bumpy flap that I was hoping my clit could catch the vibrating wave on.
After insertion, I realized the vibrating nub is about the size of a pudgy thumb, and even the chunkiest of thumbs is not going to get me off, no matter how vibe-a-licious it gets. Thanks to the remote my hands were free to do as I pleased, and since I was not getting pleased down under I grabbed my pen and scribbled some notes as to how this mini-speed demon felt: Well, this is upsetting. Am I being shagged by a midget? This actually feels like I am fingering myself with my knuckle. This thing is so far in me I’m actually glad it came with a pull cord.
There is no reason to kick a dead clit. I washed the toy off with soap, not submerging it in water like instructed, and let my male roommate have his very first pulsating butt plug. It was a big moment. He came out in his robe 15 minutes later and asked if I wanted to change the speeds. I declined.
He felt the gyrating butt master “definitely sent slight vibrations of pleasure” but the “biggest issue was that there was no real difference between the three settings it went from dull throbbing…to mild dull throbbing…to slightly more intense dull throbbing.”
Although, loud and a little too petite for a satisfactory, push in the bush, this “little vibrator that could” makes for an acceptable ass plug for beginners or the timid novice who likes it hands-free.
SiliconeSlimsSelf-Satisfier
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