Reviewed by A. Marquardt
Because of a variety of bizarre, arcane laws prohibiting the sale of sex toys in various states (see the SexHerald article about the one in Alabama), you may notice that when you pick up a new toy, there are all sorts of disclaimers on it: “SOLD AS A NOVELTY ONLY,” etc. My favorite loophole, though, is when vibrators are referred to as “personal massagers,” as though anyone’s first use for this obviously phallic-shaped item would be to massage away the knots in their shoulders or neck. However, the Oui Personal Pleasure Massager actually could be used for ridding yourself of tension in all parts of your body. The problem (a subjective one, to be sure, but a problem to some) is that the massage function is really where it shines. It being a clitoral stimulator is where it doesn’t.
Flat and vaguely kidney-shaped, and around the size of a credit card (though with slightly more depth), the Oui Personal Pleasure Massager is the most basic kind of vibrator : no fancy modes, no varying intensity, no bells and whistles. Just an on/off switch and a battery (AAA, not included). Accompanied by a small, sheer “travel pouch,” the Oui Personal Pleasure Massager comes in black, pink, purple, and chrome. The model I got is in this last shade, and looks futuristic in that “people in the 1980s thinking about what The Year 2000 will look like” way.
It’s not that the Oui Personal Pleasure Massager doesn’t have quite a bit of punch for such a small item; it does (though it’s a bit on the loud side, considering it’s so small). And as very, very basic vibrators go, it functions fine (though you can’t immerse it in water). But just know that this isn’t a pocket rocket. It’s a pocket… pita. Or tortilla. Or the globe before Columbus. It’s flat, is what I’m saying, which is just confusing. A friend of mine was literally agape attempting to figure it out. “Do you – where do you – I’m not sure if – okay, how is this supposed to work?” The shape of it – like a flat little coin purse – makes it nigh impossible to get direct clitoral stimulation.
Now, if you like stimulation around and about your body, this little guy might actually be perfect for you, especially because it’s not burdened with the preconception of being a “sex toy” since it lacks the phallic shape. And I used it just the other day on my shoulder. I suppose the ideal situation in which to use the Oui Personal Pleasure Massager is when you want to be vibrated all over, and take your time, but not when you’re looking for a quick and dirty orgasm from a little stimulation.
To be fair, the makers of the Oui Personal Pleasure Massager may not have had the same intentions as I did for their empanada-shaped toy. Maybe they wanted it to provide all-over body vibrations. Maybe they liked the idea of a non-clitoral-centric vibrator. But there’s no way of knowing what they meant, since the name, with its sex toy ban loophole wording, doesn’t tell us. If you do get this, use it on your neck.
 Email this review to a friend
|
