Reviewed by M. Blythe
Ass, the final frontier. These are the voyages of My First Anal Toy by Nasstoys. Mission: to explore strange new worlds. To boldly go where no man has gone before.
The ass is the new vagina; if you haven't heard this then you are pretty far behind on the modern world because everybody's doing it. So, I decided to test out this bright pink play toy on my new Cowboy who just happened to be an anal virgin and a complete beginner in any anal play.
If you're a beginner, don't be such a pussy (cat of course), because this little pink toy is actually quite a bit smaller than the photo appears on the package cover. It's petite and uniquely designed to comfortably slide into the great beyond. It didn't hurt my Cowboy one bit—he was actually making some contented Cling-On moaning sounds.
Once you're comfortable with the little pink guy in your backside, you can then try out the vibration stimulation. The battery pack attaches to the vibe with a pink cord and has 10 powerful functions. Since none of the functions were labeled at all, my Cowboy and I just had to guess whether we were on the Foreplay, Tease, Arouse, Zoom, Wave, Pulsation, Vibration, Random, Racer, or Climax function. But honestly, they all felt spacey and out of this world.
It was a pleasure to use this toy as a couple because there is a light that flashes in sync with the vibe function that only takes 2 AA batteries that are not included. This is obviously more fun if you have a partner to enjoy the pretty lights going in and out of his or her black hole. Now, of course—if you are sharing your toys—be sure to clean them extra carefully or better yet, one of you could easily use the toy with a condom. As with any good mission or voyage: safety first.
If, instead, you are on your own space mission, playing by yourself then a longer cord would perhaps be more useful, so you could more easily work the controls, but at least the toy is waterproof, which also makes for easy clean up. It wasn't the quietest toy, but once in place, the noise is certainly muffled with personal padding.
The best beginner anal advice you can get in one sentence: lube it up good, start small, drink lots of water and get healthy amounts of fiber and you're good to go. Bottoms Up!
I truly liked bringing someone else over to the dark side and my Cowboy even volunteered to ride this Starship Enterprise again. I'm telling you: real men really do wear pink (and get rammed in the ass with a cute and powerful pink anal toys).
Thank you, Star Trek, for the quote; thank you, Nasstoys, for My First Anal Toy; and, thank you, Cowboy, for an adventurous journey. So, keep up with the times and boldly go where no man (or woman) has gone before. Spread those cheeks and have a great mission! MyFirstAnalToy
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