Reviewed by A. Marquardt
If you’re like me, you base most of your knowledge of pheromones on the 1992 hit film Love Potion Number 9, featuring Tate Donovan (at the time a total hotshot) and Sandra Bullock (yet to reach top “speed” in her career). Basically, they play scientists who isolate a compound that drives members of the opposite sex crazy, shenanigans ensue, and everyone ends up happy in the end. But Hollywood tends to oversimplify things a bit, so here's the slightly less simplified version: pheromones are chemicals in the body of an animal that cause responses in other animals of that species. They can serve as communication tools; ants, for example, can lay a trail with pheromones that lead to food sources. But when you hear the word "pheromone," you might think of the trend a few years back for "pheromone sprays," artificially created (human) sex pheromones (note: you cannot attract the ladies with horse sweat, no matter how rare it is).
Typically, the pheromone sprays are gender-specific, which makes sense. I'm no biologist, but it just stands to reason that the chemicals created by a female's body to attract a male while she's ovulating would be different than the chemicals created by the male to get the female all hot and bothered. How pheromones affect the sex lives of homosexuals, I can't begin to guess. In any case, this makes Lure Unisex an anomaly in the now-waning world of pheromone sprays, because it works—allegedly—for men and women, with no mention of orientation anywhere on the packaging. How is it supposed to attract the people I want to attract if it's not gender-specific?
Lure uses a pheromone called alpha-androstenol, a pheromone secreted primarily by females. According to some lecture notes of a professor at UW-Milwaukee, this pheromone does three things: increases sexual arousal in males; increases male perception of female attractiveness; and, increases willingness of females to initiate social contact with males. So if you're a straight woman wearing this around straight men, men will find you hotter and be more sexually aroused; if you're a straight man wearing it around straight women, the women will just want to talk to you more (which for some guys isn’t enough to seal the deal). Seems like a better deal if you're a woman, and again, it doesn't mention what effect this will have on the gays, lesbians, and in-betweeners in the mix.
At least, that's what it's supposed to do. In my extremely unscientific study, I didn't notice a significant difference in my interactions with straight men. I mean, not even catcalls went up. So, it doesn't work—strike one. Here's the major problem I have with Lure Unisex, though: Itt doesn't smell very good. It’s got a Pottery Barn “clean kitchen” spray thing happening. The whole benefit of the 1990s pheromone spray that was so beloved by dudes who wear puka shell necklaces was that it didn't smell itself. The intended target doesn't think: "You smell amazing." S/he just thinks: "I am attracted to this person and don't know why. I must take him/her back to my place and make wild monkey sex with him/her." It was sneaky… to be used with whatever scent you normally wore. Lure Unisex is a cologne (or "a pheromone-infused fragrance with a clean, pure refreshing scent," according to the website), and sadly, it's not a very good smelling one. Like Tate Donovan’s career before it was rescued by The OC, Lure Unisex is headed in a downward spiral. LureUnisexPheromoneCologne
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