Reviewed by Tobly McSmith
I love my iPod. Just how much? I love my iPod enough to buy accessories for it, to worry about its well being more than my own, and yes, enough to have sex with it. Earphones alone are so passé. I need to take it to the next level. Enter, iBuzz. This sex toy synchs up with the beats of your music and brings the deep vibration to all of you and your partner’s naughtiest parts.
The iBuzz comes with a base that you can plug two earphones in, a long cord with two vibrating bullets, a rabbit-shaped rubber sleeve (for her), and a cock ring (for him). The iBuzz has three different pulsating settings. There is the music mode, which dances to the music, pattern mode that plays seven different preprogrammed vibrations (I’m assuming these come in handy if your mp3 player’s battery loses its juice before you do), and a straight-out hard vibe (probably when you are ready to finish off and George Michael isn’t doing the trick).
Whichever setting you choose, the vibrating can get more intense with a few pushes to the button on the base. The button is outlined with handsome blue lights that move to the music’s beat, which is very helpful in the dark. But as the lady who found herself in my bed the night I brought out the iBuzz from the nightstand pointed out, this gadget is wire intensive. When those cords gets mixed up it’s like a big vibrating spider web, and that is not very sexy. As I was fumbling around trying to separate the headphones and the cords to the bullets the mood was instantly lost even with my pleas that it was so worth it. Begging never helps. Not even the pretty blue lights could save me and iBuzz. She gave up, said “fuck this” and was sadly, not talking about any of her orifices.
Patience is a virtue, especially when dealing with a vibrator that complements your intensive collection of Jon Bon Jovi. Flying solo one night I made up a little play list including all my favorites and a few I knew would get me an intensive clit massage. The faster, more electronic songs of Peaches and the sorts were cum-tastic but I grew restless about two minutes into every song wanting to know what the next one would feel like. Surprisingly, I shot my proverbial load listening to “New York, New York.” Maybe it was the trumpets, maybe it was Frank Sinatra’s booming voice, I can’t be for sure but it totally worked. The next morning on my way to work, my iPod was set to random and it played, you guessed it, “New York, New York.” I was instantly wet. How’s that for Pavlovian dog syndrome?
I have been waiting all my life for a sex toy of this kind. Well, at least for the two years I have had my mp3 player. The iBuzz is perfect for those who love music just as much as they love their special parts to tingle. It is handsomely built, sturdy, and looking to please not just one but two people simultaneously. The benefits far outweigh the fact that the cord tangle easy. Rest assured, Britney Spears would want you to listen to her music this way.
iBuzzTwo
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